Good Quotes Part Deux

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College Football Quotes.........

We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches." Darrell Royal / Texas


"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking." John McKay / USC


"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad." Darrell Royal / University of Texas


"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame


"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football" John Heisman

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"Dance like nobody who can commit you is watching."

Prayer - the world's greatest wireless connection."

"So far, this is the oldest I've ever been."

Perfection is overrated.

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"I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work."


"Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you." (Milton Supman...'Soupy Sales'...1926--2009)

Diet: The penalty you pay for exceeding the feed limit.

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Children are like mosquitoes...the minute they stop making noise, they're into something.

SUBURBIA: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

Income is something you can't live without or within.

Many a child who watches television for hours will go down in History...not to mention Arithmetic, English and Geography.

Although the tongue weighs very little, few people are able to hold it.

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National Sarcasm Society.......Like we need your support.

Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

"I'm so busy...I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse."

"Everything I say can be fully substantiated by my own opinion."

"I used to care but I take a pill for that now."

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Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.



Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.



I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.



I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.



Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."

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"Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you." (Milton Supman...'Soupy Sales'...1926--2009)

Diet: The penalty you pay for exceeding the feed limit.

They call it take-home pay because there is no other place you can afford to go with it.

Life is filled with momentary pleasures: the sting of a good shower waking us up for the day; the transient scent of a flower, the comforting sound of the gentle rain.Let us never get too busy to notice the simple pleasures of our lives.

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Punny Truisms..........

*I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

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Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

You’re driving a car!! It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.

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An antique is something that has been useless for so long it's still in pretty good condition.

"All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. "

"The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. "

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Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.

You can survive on charm for about 5 minutes...after that, you'd better know something!

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College Football Quotes........

"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State


After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: "All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC


"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota


"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame


"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike ##### / Texas Tech


"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

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College Football Quotes.....

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." Shug Jordan / Auburn


"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal / Texas


"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame


"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike ##### / Texas Tech


"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State


"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

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Worry pulls tomorrow's cloud over today's sunshine.

If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

There are two kinds of widows, bereaved and relieved!

Biscuits and sermons are improved by shortening

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When love alone acts as your compass, your life is always right on course.

Some people say that motivation doesn't last, neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily."