Personal Finances

[BLACKBOX]

I've been married for over 17 years now and still we have separate bank accounts. I'm just wondering how many of you out there do the same?

The way we handle finances are that I pay the mortgage while she pays all the utilities (we each have our own car payments). The groceries are about 60/40 since I make more than she does.

It works out just fine and I like the fact that I can spend or save at my discretion and we discuss anything that considered high end purchases.

I love taking the family out on my "dime" kinda feels like your single in a weird sort of way. One last thing, we never open each others mail.

[Nitelite]

Why keep the money separate? It seems like it would be a lot easier just combining it.

[brown bomber]

Originally Posted by BLACKBOX

I've been married for over 17 years now and still we have separate bank accounts. I'm just wondering how many of you out there do the same?

The way we handle finances are that I pay the mortgage while she pays all the utilities (we each have our own car payments). The groceries are about 60/40 since I make more than she does.

It works out just fine and I like the fact that I can spend or save at my discretion and we discuss anything that considered high end purchases.

I love taking the family out on my "dime" kinda feels like your single in a weird sort of way. One last thing, we never open each others mail.

Um..Ahh.....If you're married, isn't this supposed to be a mutual arrangement...............I don't understand

[klein]

From a financial aspect of view :
I think your wasting a lot of money. I see 2 getting together to get ahead in life a lot quicker, but you are not taking advantage of that.

1) 2 bank accounts = double the banking fees.
2) 2 car payments, thats redicoulos.
Only 1 new car should be needed for reliabilty and vacation, long trips etc.
A "clunker" is good enough just to go to work and back.
(save the 2nd car payment, perhaps by 1 new with cash later on ? Or pay extra towards your mortgage = get ahead !)
3) means you probably have seperate insurance bills, combine them and you'll save another few hundred bucks. And save even more insurance, by not needing full coverage on a 2nd vehicle bought on credit. (clunker instead).
4) Organize your grocery shopping better, sit down with wife, make up a shopping list (search the flyers for good deals).
Kinda sounds you go shopping when and what you want, and she does the same.
Wondering how much gets thrown out ?

[brown bomber]

Originally Posted by klein

From a financial aspect of view :
I think your wasting a lot of money. I see 2 getting together to get ahead in life a lot quicker, but you are not taking advantage of that.

1) 2 bank accounts = double the banking fees.
2) 2 car payments, thats redicoulos.
Only 1 new car should be needed for reliabilty and vacation, long trips etc.
A "clunker" is good enough just to go to work and back.
(save the 2nd car payment, perhaps by 1 new with cash later on ? Or pay extra towards your mortgage = get ahead !)
3) means you probably have seperate insurance bills, combine them and you'll save another few hundred bucks. And save even more insurance, by not needing full coverage on a 2nd vehicle bought on credit. (clunker instead).
4) Organize your grocery shopping better, sit down with wife, make up a shopping list (search the flyers for good deals).
Kinda sounds you go shopping when and what you want, and she does the same.
Wondering how much gets thrown out ?

AGREE...my friend

[rod]

My wife (of 38 years) has always taken care of the finances and she does an excellant job of it. A couple of years ago I actually checked our credit score and it came up like 825 so she must be doing something right. All I know is she has never said "no" when I mention getting a new toy--- in fact she was the one that told me to go get a new truck last year

[nervIS]

Originally Posted by BLACKBOX

I've been married for over 17 years now and still we have separate bank accounts. I'm just wondering how many of you out there do the same?

The way we handle finances are that I pay the mortgage while she pays all the utilities (we each have our own car payments). The groceries are about 60/40 since I make more than she does.

It works out just fine and I like the fact that I can spend or save at my discretion and we discuss anything that considered high end purchases.

I love taking the family out on my "dime" kinda feels like your single in a weird sort of way. One last thing, we never open each others mail.

We have three accounts. 1 joint account for all the household expenses, and each of us has our own accounts we put a couple of hundred bucks into each month. This way I can spend that money in my account any way I want and not need "approval" for it (it does not come out of house budget). The individual accounts are totally for discretionary spending; golf, beer making supplies, fast food, etc....

Fees? Who pays fees for a bank account? Join a credit union.

[Just Numbers]

Originally Posted by BLACKBOX

I've been married for over 17 years now and still we have separate bank accounts. I'm just wondering how many of you out there do the same?

The way we handle finances are that I pay the mortgage while she pays all the utilities (we each have our own car payments). The groceries are about 60/40 since I make more than she does.

It works out just fine and I like the fact that I can spend or save at my discretion and we discuss anything that considered high end purchases.

I love taking the family out on my "dime" kinda feels like your single in a weird sort of way. One last thing, we never open each others mail.

Have been married for 35 yrs...isn't marriage about sharing your life together....if everything is separate then, to me it shows a lack of trust.

[dilligaf]

Blackbox we have separate accounts as well. I understand. I pay the majority of the household bills. I make twice as much as he does. He pays my car payment, does all the grocery shopping and a few other minor bills. And I also enjoy taking him out on my 'dime'. Same thing goes for the mail as well.

Klein most banks don't charge fees if you do direct deposit. As far as 2 car payments............... I only have my new one but if we wanted 2 new ones and we could afford 2 new ones then we WOULD have 2 new ones. My choice - don't really give a damn what you think of it.

Just Numbers not a lack of trust at all. We have absolute trust in each other that we will each take care of what needs to be taken care of.

[Hoaxster]

I wonder if there is a correlation between group think (Socialism) and Individualism and the idea of a shared bank account and individual bank accounts.

Already have an example of this with our Socialist friend up North and our strong individualist out in Arizona.

I wonder if most people who depend on the government and are always thinking of themselves as belonging to a group don't want the responsibility of individual accounts and want to share that responsibility?

Just thinking?

[klein]

Originally Posted by Hoaxster

I wonder if there is a correlation between group think (Socialism) and Individualism and the idea of a shared bank account and individual bank accounts.

Already have an example of this with our Socialist friend up North and our strong individualist out in Arizona.

I wonder if most people who depend on the government and are always thinking of themselves as belonging to a group don't want the responsibility of individual accounts and want to share that responsibility?

Just thinking?

Got news for you, first of all I said "from a financial point of view", secondly, I'm single.
I haven't had a long drive vacation since 1992. It's much cheaper and faster just to fly.
Why would I need a new car (and car payments) just to go to work and back ?
My house is totally paid off, and have been debt free for almost 4 years.
Trust me, I thought about getting a new toy (like a Mercedes) with the mortgage payments I no longer make.
But, life is more important to me, was gonna fully retire at age 53-55 (depending on my investments), because thats where my mortgage payments were going.
Instead of going on a big spending spree, with $1019.00 extra in my pocket every month. I decided it's better to live my life as was, and then enjoy it 10-12 years earlier then the legal retirement age. (65).

Thats responsibilty ! Think of the future, not just the current.

Has nothing to do with liberal. I live in "redneck" conservative Alberta. I voted for them since I moved here in 1987. And I also voted for Harper (our Prime Minister, also conservative, and also from Alberta).
And Canada is far from being a "socialist" country, compared to European and Scandiavian countries. And, I don't want it to become more social as it is. We are in a nice middle. Love it as it is.

[dilligaf]

Interesting idea Hoax. You could take that in a totally different direction.

Does it have anything to do with geography?


Or how about liberalism and conservatism?

[dilligaf]

Originally Posted by klein

Got news for you, first of all I said "from a financial point of view", secondly, I'm single.
I haven't had a long drive vacation since 1992. It's much cheaper and faster just to fly.
Why would I need a new car (and car payments) just to go to work and back ?
My house is totally paid off, and have been debt free for almost 4 years.
Trust me, I thought about getting a new toy (like a Mercedes) with the mortgage payments I no longer make.
But, life is more important to me, was gonna fully retire at age 53-55 (depending on my investments), because thats where my mortgage payments were going.
Instead of going on a big spending spree, with $1019.00 extra in my pocket every month. I decided it's better to live my life as was, and then enjoy it 10-12 years earlier then the legal retirement age. (65).

Thats responsibilty ! Think of the future, not just the current.

Originally Posted by klein

From a financial aspect of view :
I think your wasting a lot of money. I see 2 getting together to get ahead in life a lot quicker, but you are not taking advantage of that.

1) 2 bank accounts = double the banking fees.
2) 2 car payments, thats redicoulos.
Only 1 new car should be needed for reliabilty and vacation, long trips etc.
A "clunker" is good enough just to go to work and back.
(save the 2nd car payment, perhaps by 1 new with cash later on ? Or pay extra towards your mortgage = get ahead !)
3) means you probably have seperate insurance bills, combine them and you'll save another few hundred bucks. And save even more insurance, by not needing full coverage on a 2nd vehicle bought on credit. (clunker instead).
4) Organize your grocery shopping better, sit down with wife, make up a shopping list (search the flyers for good deals).
Kinda sounds you go shopping when and what you want, and she does the same.
Wondering how much gets thrown out ?

Klein, I would like to point out something to you. You say basically the same thing in each of these posts. In one post you are pointing your finger at someone else. Saying 'you' this and 'you' that. In the other post you clearly keep your point of view directed at yourself. Saying 'I' this and 'I' that. Are you following me? Do you see where I am going with this?

I personally feel that if you tell me what I should do and not do I am going to tell you to F................................, well I think you are getting the idea now.

Nothing personal, just making a point.

[stevetheupsguy]

Interesting thread you have here BlackBox. I think that whatever each couple or individual works out with their finances and find that it really works out, makes it good for them. Not everyone is going to fit into the joint account/spend it together portfolio, or for that matter the keep it separate/have some freedom portfolio.

Here, we have the joint account. We pay the bills from one account but have branching accounts that we use individually. The Wife used to pay the bills but wasn't very good reliable at getting the payments off in time. This was a constant cause of tension in the house, so I took things over. We are now up to date on all of the bills.

I'm actually thinking of severing some accounts to make us more independent in the way we save/spend. We'll see how this works. JMHO, but you can't beat up on someone for doing things their own way, that actually work out well for themselves.

[mattwtrs]

We've been married 35 years and whenever she worked it has alway been "our money=my pay check" & "her money=her paycheck". She does pay for family birthday presents, her clothes(way to many), wedding gifts & granddaughters stuff. She also paid her car payment that is in both our names.

Now that I'm retired she pays for more of the vacations since I'm on a fixed income and my budget is $6,000 a year for vacations and Nascar races(she doesn't go).

When she's mad she'll say, "why did you retire?" and my reply is "because I could!". I also tell her look at the obits in the paper, way too many people our age in there. I have planned for us living till we're 85 years old, so thats how long my savings need to last. She still works cause I tell her I didn't plan for her fun money in our retirement budget. She only works 12-13 days a month, no weekends. There is money for her but she'd spend it if I gave it to her.

Life is good, no car payments, no credit card debt, just get up everyday and enjoy life, do some volunteer work and spoil the grandchildren.

[stevetheupsguy]

Originally Posted by mattwtrs

We've been married 35 years and whenever she worked it has alway been "our money=my pay check" & "her money=her paycheck". She does pay for family birthday presents, her clothes(way to many), wedding gifts & granddaughters stuff. She also paid her car payment that is in both our names.

Now that I'm retired she pays for more of the vacations since I'm on a fixed income and my budget is $6,000 a year for vacations and Nascar races(she doesn't go).

When she's mad she'll say, "why did you retire?" and my reply is "because I could!". I also tell her look at the obits in the paper, way too many people our age in there. I have planned for us living till we're 85 years old, so thats how long my savings need to last. She still works cause I tell her I didn't plan for her fun money in our retirement budget. She only works 12-13 days a month, no weekends. There is money for her but she'd spend it if I gave it to her.

Life is good, no car payments, no credit card debt, just get up everyday and enjoy life, do some volunteer work and spoil the grandchildren.

Sounds like us, here, LOL. Nice infomative post, matt, thanks for sharing with us people that are just getting started on this journey.

[dilligaf]

I'm kind of surprised this hasn't been brought into the discussion yet.

Credit cards. We each have our own credit cards. We each pay our own credit cards. We do agree though, we don't make major purchases without discussing it with the other.

[cachsux]

Married 18 yrs. Each has a personal account plus central house account which pays for everything. Check cards attached to each account but no credit cards. I pay for my car but only because I bought it out of sequence. Beyond that only debt besides monthly bills is mortgage.

[slowdriver]

I have never been married, I have never had to answer to anyone about my money I'm not sure how easy that will be after getting married, i kinda like the idea of keeping separate accounts for your own personal discretionary spending.

[klein]

Originally Posted by slowdriver

I have never been married, I have never had to answer to anyone about my money I'm not sure how easy that will be after getting married, i kinda like the idea of keeping separate accounts for your own personal discretionary spending.

You forget the "banking power" you'll get, buy having 2 paychecks going into 1 account. Easier to apply for loans, mortages, overdraft, etc.

But, I could see 2 seperate savings accounts.. with say $200 going into each partners account thru automatic transfers.
Each can use that for spending money for thier weekly needs and any extras, or savings on gifts towards eachother (xmas, anniversary, bithdays, etc).

But, yes, each to thier own.

I had c.o.d customers on my route (islamic or east indians, etc), that I could never collect if hubby wasn't home.
Thier women have no cash or control over money at all.
The next day, the amount was placed in a ziploc bag, with exact change, by the penny, for her to give me.

We all know, thats wrong. But, thats the way they live.

[JimJimmyJames]

We have a joint account. If I could go back in time and do it all over again I would realize I am much too selfish to be married in the first place so naturally I would now have a single account .

[Can You Come Back?]

Our marriage made us one, but to each their own. We are debt free and have piles of cash in the bank.

Frankly, we can't understand financing anything except the home, we have 8 years left.
If you can't save up and pay cash, than you can't afford it and you shouldn't be buying it. Interest and finance charges are money down the drain, that's the money the banks use to build those fancy skyscrapers and multi million dollar salaries. Even your mortgage interest is a rip off. We would much rather pay the taxes on the mortgage interest that we send to the bank each year. Think about it.

Debt is a reason the economy has been stumbling the last couple years. Home values declining have prevented the "wallet of equity" from being tapped. People became accustomed to repeatedly refinancing, going farther and farther into debt. Now they are backed into a wall, finally facing the facts. Payments into oblivion. Hence, foreclosures, bankruptcies, credit card defaults are all up nationwide.

Debt is a product that has been SOLD to the American public since the late 50's. That's when the first credit card was created. So many people are so over leveraged these days, it's amazing they can get a good nights sleep.

Close your eyes. Imagine life with NO payments. You would have a lot more money.
And sleep well.

[klein]

I agree, credit cards are evil ! Been there done that, haven't had one in over a decade now.

No more spontenous buying something in a mall, that you think you want or need.
Without credit card, you simply leave it at the store, you think about it at home... if you really need it.... and then 9 out of 10... you don't.

Things can wait. Simple as that.

[dilligaf]

There is nothing wrong with credit cards. The problem is how they are used. In fact, you almost have to have a credit card to build any kind of credit these days.

I had terrible credit. I opened a pre-paid credit card. I have had that same card now for 12 yrs. My credit is excellent now and part of the reason is because of that credit card. It took years of patience and diligence to turn my credit around. Knowing how to use credit cards is all important.

[Hoaxster]

I have not had a credit card in over 15 years ... they are all charge cards since then. Like Dilli said - pay in full every month.