Best (funniest) UPS story you have - Brown Cafe

06-16-2006, 06:24 PM

OK everyone I need a good laugh, whats the funniest or most unbelievable story that happened in your center. Top this one...we had a driver that had to fill out an injury report because as he made a delivery to a office the guy was bit by a monkey that was with his owner in the office! Yes the driver was fine....as a side note to avoid a lawsuit I believe the monkey was offered a seat on the PAS design team...

speeddemon · 06-17-2006, 03:39 AM

A fellow driver of mine walked up on a customer "choking his chicken " in plain view, through the windows, while attempting a delivery. The customer was at his computer.

disneyworld · 06-17-2006, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ineedalaugh

OK everyone I need a good laugh, whats the funniest or most unbelievable story that happened in your center. Top this one...we had a driver that had to fill out an injury report because as he made a delivery to a office the guy was bit by a monkey that was with his owner in the office! Yes the driver was fine....as a side note to avoid a lawsuit I believe the monkey was offered a seat on the PAS design team...

One of our drivers walked into a pond while looking at his diad,one flushed his keys down the toilet. As for me,I went into a dentists office on a friday.As I was looking for someone to sign,I was saying "Hello". I heard a voice from upstairs(it was in an old house) say "hello",so I try to follow the voice.I go upstairs,again "hello",and again I get a response "hello" that sounded like it was from downstairs. I go back downstairs and say "hello" again a response from a back room "hello'. As I enter the back room a parrot was staring back at me. For future reference,the office is closed on Fridays.

Doug Heffernan · 06-17-2006, 04:58 PM

We had a driver that was working late in a bad part of town when he was approched by two seedy characters demanding the driver open his package car and give them some packages. The driver calmly pulled his diad out and scanned each one of thier faces, when asked by the two men why he did that his reply was I just sent a scan of your faces directly to police headquaters so i suggest you get away from here! The driver said you never seen anyone run away so fast. Just goes to show you crooks aren't the smartest. We still laugh about that! lol

06-19-2006, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by speeddemon

A fellow driver of mine walked up on a customer "choking his chicken " in plain view, through the windows, while attempting a delivery. The customer was at his computer.

I hope he disinfected his stylus..you don't want any left over "DNA"....

sendagain · 06-20-2006, 07:27 AM

We had a guy who knocked over a water bottle in somebody's office; he was referred to as Spaz after that. I also heard of a driver walking into a swimming pool. Then, we once had a guy who took the screws out of another driver's handcart, so that the wheels fell off when he went to use it.

There was another guy who stopped by a Christmas party and had a few on Christmas Eve, enjoying a little celebration before heading back to the barn. He went into his truck and fell asleep for a couple hours, leaving the manager to wonder why this guy came in long after everyone else was gone.

cashmen · 06-20-2006, 07:34 PM

Well, where do i start.....I was working somewhere out in the boonies in AZ back in 2000 and I heard a shotgun going off and I was about 25 miles from the nearest house and this guy was shooting the gun off and as I approached his little ****hole out in the middle of the desert....he approached my vehicle with shotgun in hand and responed "do ya got a pkg for me" I responded "yes, Please dont shoot me" and he said "Oh this isnt for you, Im chasing this damn cow off my land"....DOH

DS · 06-20-2006, 09:04 PM

only in america

ditto44 · 06-22-2006, 01:51 PM

We had a driver that wanted to get a vasectomey, but he was really skittish about it so we started teasing him, one morning a cow dehorner came down the belt, we grabbed the driver laid him on the sort belt and acted like we were going to give him a vasectomey right there during the morning sort.

Dfigtree · 06-24-2006, 06:47 AM

This is second hand but I believe it to be true. There was the case about twenty years ago in Paramus, NJ of the night shift transvestite (transexual?) computer operator who did not know which bathroom to use so he/she use a garbage can so as not to be discovered which stunk up the place leading to his/her discovery.

browniehound · 06-24-2006, 07:03 AM

Hey cashmen. you first name dosen't happen to be George or Brian does it?

sendagain · 06-24-2006, 07:42 AM

I once had the stick shift in the vehicle come right up out of the floor as I was travelling up a busy residential street; that was quite a shock. I was hurrying to a different hub to drop off late next day air in order to make the flight off the west coast. Talk about feeling some pressure! I managed to get the shifter back into the floor and kept pressure on top of it when I shifted. It reminded me of the old Laurel and Hardy movies when the wheel came off while Laurel was driving.

trickpony1 · 06-24-2006, 07:53 AM

Browniehound-

Regarding your signature line:

Who is/was John Bender?

browniehound · 06-24-2006, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trickpony1

Browniehound-

Regarding your signature line:

Who is/was John Bender?

I'll give you a hint. He's a fictional character in a movie from the 1980's

moreluck · 06-24-2006, 10:00 AM

Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club

cashmen · 06-24-2006, 10:03 AM

Brownie,
Nope my name is beleive or not, Shawn Casady...I drove 9 yrs in AZ and now im in UTAH for las 3 yrs

Big Babooba · 06-24-2006, 03:50 PM

A couple of years ago we had a driver lose his truck! He was doing a route on the blind.He took a wrong turn and got stuck on an old logging trail. He walked for a couple of hours to reach a phone (no text messaging or cell phone coverage). A supervisor drove out to him and asked him where the truck was. His reply was, "I Don't know". They had to retrace his route from his last stop to find it. He brought back a lot of stops that day.

06-24-2006, 05:44 PM

The Might, Mighty UPS
Has an Awesome, Awesome, P.A.S.
Load it, Load it, by P.A.L.
Or...Surely, Surely, you'll go to HELL!

disneyworld · 06-24-2006, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by browniehound

I'll give you a hint. He's a fictional character in a movie from the 1980's

Johnny Dangerously?

browniehound · 06-25-2006, 06:18 AM

Morelock is correct, its from the breakfast club. Cashmen, I thought maybe you were Brian Cashman, general manager of the New York Yankees

cashmen · 06-25-2006, 11:03 AM

LOL, no im just a driver...nobody important!
I received the cashman nickname when i was a teenager!

jugbutt2 · 12-10-2007, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ineedalaugh

OK everyone I need a good laugh, whats the funniest or most unbelievable story that happened in your center. Top this one...we had a driver that had to fill out an injury report because as he made a delivery to a office the guy was bit by a monkey that was with his owner in the office! Yes the driver was fine....as a side note to avoid a lawsuit I believe the monkey was offered a seat on the PAS design team...

As a supervisor, I was riding with a driver. This driver was a bit on the unordinary side, ( I'm being nice with that description). This was quite a few years back, when UPS was still delivering with paper delivery records. I was trying to get him to "get signature first".

We walked into the side door of a dentist's office with 3 small pkgs. We were in a large room behind the front reception counter, with 5 patients in chairs, in various stages of dental treatment, and the entire staff of the office. The driver got the signature first! I was so proud that I was making a note on my checklist of how good he had done. As he wrote down the last shipper number, he smiled broadly at me, raised his right leg, and very loudly relieved himself of a large quantity of intestinal gas - turned and walked out the door, leaving me to face everyone in the place.

What could I say?? I apologized profusely, and left the building.

I could fill a book with stupid things this one driver did, but time would prohibit me right now.

trplnkl · 12-16-2007, 01:31 AM

This story was told to me by our local's BA, so it's prolly not totally true. LOL.
A driver who was a royal pain in the butt for mangmnt was finally fired for excessive absenteeism. Of course he grieved the termination. After 3 or 4 months of hearings being deadlocked an arbitrator finally reinstated him w/ back pay. The day he was supposed to report back to work, he called in sick. Now THAT takes some balls.

Big Babooba · 12-17-2007, 04:06 PM

Last year I had a lady on my route ask me if I got cold during the winter because my truck didn't have doors. I told her that I was driving a summer truck. I said that all the winter trucks with the doors were in storage and won't go on the road until the autumn, then the summer trucks will be stored for the winter.

She fell for it hook, line & sinker.

brownfrownhigherflyer757 · 12-21-2007, 03:32 PM

These are all realllllly funny stories!