Teamster Jokes

[Insta Gator]

What was the last thing Jesus said to the Teamsters?
Don't do anything until I come back.

How can you tell when a teamster is dead?
The jelly doughnut falls out of his mouth.

What did the teamster get on his I.Q. test?
Saliva

[705red]

What do you call an employee that cashes his check to pay his mortgage, car note, puts groceries on the table, clothes his scrubby little family, visits the doctor, uses his medical card, enjoys his paid vacation, optional days, uses his seniority to bid, and pension that the teamsters negotiated for him?

[browndevil]

Originally Posted by 705red

What do you call an employee that cashes his check to pay his mortgage, car note, puts groceries on the table, clothes his scrubby little family, visits the doctor, uses his medical card, enjoys his paid vacation, optional days, uses his seniority to bid, and pension that the teamsters negotiated for him?

Well said Red! The week union dues are paid and my fellow drivers are complaining I usually will ask"how much does FedEx pay thier drivers to do thier jobs" 69$ a month is a bargain for our wage, benefits and protection when it is called for. If you were on trial you wouldn't enter the courtroom without your lawyer

[Insta Gator]

If either of you think the union cares about anything other than money, you need to go back to school. If they gave a rats-arse about "the employee" - "the teamster", then they would have forced UPS to pay the p/t employees a higher wage rate. No, they only care about the cold hard $$$, to stuff the pockets of the leaders and propaganda the heck out of worker bees (aka blind mice that pay dues). They push for better pay for the drivers (package and feeders) because their dues bring in more money and the drivers are usually the long term employees who need the teamsters backing so they can call in sick-no call every other Fri/Mon and still keep their job. I paid dues for 5 years, never filed a grievance, I came to work every day, did my job...the guy that worked accross from me showed up 4 times a week, sometimes 3, when he did show up he showed up late. He had worked here for 10+ years. Kept getting fired and getting his job back because of the union. So the days he was gone (and trust me he is one example out of about 100) the "brothers" that needed a job and gave a damn, and came to work everyday, had to do his share of the work. That's brotherhood all right. Oh and before you go bashing the management team that didn't keep accurate records, etc, remember, they were teamsters at one time as well, since they promote from within. So theoritically, the stupid management people are really stupid teamsters in a tie. And spare me "the Union gets us benifits" pablum too. In '97 UPS offered a $1,500 signing bonus and offered to take over the pension...Teamsters response...strike. Lost a bunch customers, lost $1,500, but the drivers got a nice pay increase (see above) and the p/t'ers got nothing. Then a few years later, when the Teamster retirement fund is running short (hmmm wonder why) they ask UPS to take over the pension. Why, because they knew the turd would hit the fan when they had to explain where all the money went. The union is good for 1 thing and 1 thing only, keeping slackers on the job and keeping the mafioso-wannabe leaders fat. Just look at those boneheads in Chicago, threatening to strike during a recession, had a list as long as your arm of issues and what were they really after? More days off. What a bunch of rubes....I'd type more, but I'm laughing too hard...more days off....hahahaha

[705red]

I really tried reading your post, but i cant follow the wall of words. Please use paragraphs so maybe we can respond to you.

[browndevil]

Insta I have to agree with Red. I gave your post a quick over view I couldn't read it through the wall of words. PARAGRAPHS my friend!

Anyway that is why they make chocolate and vanilla, to have choices.
I personally don't think any entity gives a @#%& about me. The company, the union, my govt (dems of rep). However the union gives me benefits for myself and my spouse and I will have a pension when I retire now that thought is a dinasour.

[Baba gounj]

Originally Posted by Insta Gator

If either of you think the union cares about anything other than money, you need to go back to school. If they gave a rats-arse about "the employee" - "the teamster", then they would have forced UPS to pay the p/t employees a higher wage rate.
No, they only care about the cold hard $$$, to stuff the pockets of the leaders and propaganda the heck out of worker bees (aka blind mice that pay dues). They push for better pay for the drivers (package and feeders) because their dues bring in more money.
And the drivers are usually the long term employees who need the teamsters backing so they can call in sick-no call every other Fri/Mon and still keep their job.
I paid dues for 5 years, never filed a grievance, I came to work every day, did my job...the guy that worked accross from me showed up 4 times a week, sometimes 3, when he did show up he showed up late. He had worked here for 10+ years. Kept getting fired and getting his job back because of the union. So the days he was gone (and trust me he is one example out of about 100) the "brothers" that needed a job and gave a damn, and came to work everyday, had to do his share of the work. That's brotherhood all right.
Oh and before you go bashing the management team that didn't keep accurate records, etc, remember, they were teamsters at one time as well, since they promote from within. So theoritically, the stupid management people are really stupid teamsters in a tie.
And spare me "the Union gets us benifits" pablum too. In '97 UPS offered a $1,500 signing bonus and offered to take over the pension...Teamsters response...strike. Lost a bunch customers, lost $1,500, but the drivers got a nice pay increase (see above) and the p/t'ers got nothing.
Then a few years later, when the Teamster retirement fund is running short (hmmm wonder why) they ask UPS to take over the pension. Why, because they knew the turd would hit the fan when they had to explain where all the money went.
The union is good for 1 thing and 1 thing only, keeping slackers on the job and keeping the mafioso-wannabe leaders fat.
Just look at those boneheads in Chicago, threatening to strike during a recession, had a list as long as your arm of issues and what were they really after? More days off. What a bunch of rubes....I'd type more, but I'm laughing too hard...more days off....hahahaha

Now that is readable.

During the last contract dicussions on this this and other boards it was noted that p/t were going to get shafted on wages, yet most of them acted like sheep & voted yes. Were you one ?
As for '97, sorry you never got that bonus, but $1500 was for F/T and $750 were for p/t.
The request to take over the pension in '97, was not for your benefit . Ups was trying to break the union.
As for those lost customers ... news flash... they came back, since FDX and the others could not handle their volume.
As for Chicago, that was a show of unity. Willing to strike ups to stop the strong arm tactics of forcing another useless contract upon them.

[tourists24]

Sounds like you need to be working at Fed Ex Ground.... no silly Teamsters to worry about. You can be your own boss as an independent contractor. Everything will be peachy for you then

[MonavieLeaker]

Originally Posted by Insta Gator

If either of you think the union cares about anything other than money, you need to go back to school. If they gave a rats-arse about "the employee" - "the teamster", then they would have forced UPS to pay the p/t employees a higher wage rate. No, they only care about the cold hard $$$, to stuff the pockets of the leaders and propaganda the heck out of worker bees (aka blind mice that pay dues). They push for better pay for the drivers (package and feeders) because their dues bring in more money and the drivers are usually the long term employees who need the teamsters backing so they can call in sick-no call every other Fri/Mon and still keep their job. I paid dues for 5 years, never filed a grievance, I came to work every day, did my job...the guy that worked accross from me showed up 4 times a week, sometimes 3, when he did show up he showed up late. He had worked here for 10+ years. Kept getting fired and getting his job back because of the union. So the days he was gone (and trust me he is one example out of about 100) the "brothers" that needed a job and gave a damn, and came to work everyday, had to do his share of the work. That's brotherhood all right. Oh and before you go bashing the management team that didn't keep accurate records, etc, remember, they were teamsters at one time as well, since they promote from within. So theoritically, the stupid management people are really stupid teamsters in a tie. And spare me "the Union gets us benifits" pablum too. In '97 UPS offered a $1,500 signing bonus and offered to take over the pension...Teamsters response...strike. Lost a bunch customers, lost $1,500, but the drivers got a nice pay increase (see above) and the p/t'ers got nothing. Then a few years later, when the Teamster retirement fund is running short (hmmm wonder why) they ask UPS to take over the pension. Why, because they knew the turd would hit the fan when they had to explain where all the money went. The union is good for 1 thing and 1 thing only, keeping slackers on the job and keeping the mafioso-wannabe leaders fat. Just look at those boneheads in Chicago, threatening to strike during a recession, had a list as long as your arm of issues and what were they really after? More days off. What a bunch of rubes....I'd type more, but I'm laughing too hard...more days off....hahahaha

If they didnt care about us you think wed have the great benefits we have?

[55andout?]

Ohh come on now....its a joke thread! And 2 of the 3 were funny....well the first one was funny anyway. We all know its not really true but if we cant laugh at work, together we will surely cry. And just remember....you are UPS'ers first....teamsters second.

[tieguy]

yep this thread got hijacked early