Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.|James Baldwin
| RiddlesThis is a discussion on Riddles within the Lighten UPS forums, part of the Brown Cafe UPS Forum category; Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and ...  | 
11-23-2008, 02:48 PM
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#1 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 728
Rep Power: 2062 |  Riddles
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
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Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
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Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
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Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
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Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
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Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
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Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
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Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
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Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
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Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
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Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch!
__________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill
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11-23-2008, 04:36 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 294
Rep Power: 2225 | Re: Riddles
How do we know Santa's a man???
Because he shows up late, eats your cookie, empty's his sack, cums only once, calls you a ho  and leaves when your sleeping... 
__________________ Never regard the ordinary with out perceiving in it the extraordinary  LiL"Comet" | |
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11-23-2008, 10:45 PM
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#3 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
What does a Polish woman get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
A new last name.
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-23-2008, 10:47 PM
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#4 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q. Why do men always orgasm before women do?
A. Who cares?
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-26-2008, 04:58 PM
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#5 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 728
Rep Power: 2062 |  Re: Riddles
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiL"Comet"  How do we know Santa's a man???
Because he shows up late, eats your cookie, empty's his sack, cums only once, calls you a ho and leaves when your sleeping... | mmmmmmm....... nothing like eating a nice cookie.
__________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill
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11-27-2008, 07:53 AM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 294
Rep Power: 2225 | Re: Riddles
Quote:
Originally Posted by chev mmmmmmm....... nothing like eating a nice cookie. |
that's one of those text messages I got man I get 10 a day just jokes I almost didn't post it but I thought it was funny!! I figured someone would take it the wrong way
If you can't have laughs and humor I feel sorry for those life's what you make of it.. I have a new friend on BC Chev have you noticed who it is? I think she read this post and thinks I'm flirting arounnnddddd..
Funny how some people take things. Don't eat to many cookies Chevy  you might a belly ache.
__________________ Never regard the ordinary with out perceiving in it the extraordinary LiL"Comet" | |
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11-28-2008, 07:55 PM
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#7 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 728
Rep Power: 2062 | Re: Riddles
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiL"Comet" that's one of those text messages I got man I get 10 a day just jokes I almost didn't post it but I thought it was funny!! I figured someone would take it the wrong way
If you can't have laughs and humor I feel sorry for those life's what you make of it.. I have a new friend on BC Chev have you noticed who it is? I think she read this post and thinks I'm flirting arounnnddddd..
Funny how some people take things. Don't eat to many cookies Chevy you might a belly ache. | Whaaaa..... Why, whatever do you mean?
I like sugar cookies. 
__________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill
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11-29-2008, 07:28 PM
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#8 | | 15 more years of this!
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: So. Maine
Posts: 89
Rep Power: 211 | Re: Riddles
Whats the difference between a Triscuit and a Lesbian?
Ones a snack cracker the other is a crack snacker
__________________
"Discipline yourself and others won't have to" John Wooden | |
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11-29-2008, 10:34 PM
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#9 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q What do you call a lesbian from Alaska?
A. A klondike.
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-29-2008, 10:41 PM
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#10 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q. Why do you always want to invite two Mormons to go on a fishing trip with you?
A. If you only bring one, he will drink all your beer.
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-29-2008, 10:46 PM
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#11 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q. What illness does David Carradine suffer from?
A. Kung Flu
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-29-2008, 10:47 PM
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#12 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q. Why do cherry trees stink?
A. Because George Washington cut one.
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-29-2008, 10:53 PM
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#13 | | Bitingthe Hand that Feeds
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Oregon, Hillsboro center
Posts: 1,086
Rep Power: 19539 | Re: Riddles
Q. What did the leper say to the hooker?
A. "You can keep the tip"
__________________
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | |
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11-30-2008, 08:11 AM
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#14 | | 15 more years of this!
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: So. Maine
Posts: 89
Rep Power: 211 | Re: Riddles
Q. Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and funeral
A. 1 less drunk
__________________
"Discipline yourself and others won't have to" John Wooden | |
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12-03-2008, 05:33 AM
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#15 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 728
Rep Power: 2062 | Re: Riddles
Quote:
Originally Posted by soberups Q. What did the leper say to the hooker?
A. "You can keep the tip" | Aww man thats just gross.
__________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill
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12-07-2008, 08:31 AM
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#16 | | Box Monkey
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 1,192
Rep Power: 5760 | Re: Riddles
Quote:
Originally Posted by soberups Q. What did the leper say to the hooker?
A. "You can keep the tip" |
Bad but I like it. If I remember it it will be passed on.
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Who needs family when you've got Brown? | |
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