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01-22-2009, 02:48 AM
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#1 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 1,036
Rep Power: 2803 | Ooooh Noooo Retire to Alaska
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about
5:00...'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'
__________________ If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain |
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01-23-2009, 05:31 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: in a box, under a bridge
Posts: 2,437
Rep Power: 13062 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Quote:
Originally Posted by chev Retire to Alaska
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about
5:00...'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.' | Hey Chev, Drewed's having a party tonight and you're invited!
__________________ Make it idiot proof and they'll invent a better idiot! I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it! |
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01-24-2009, 11:09 PM
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#3 | | Nightcrawler
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: North East
Posts: 1,036
Rep Power: 2803 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Babooba Hey Chev, Drewed's having a party tonight and you're invited! | Why do I suddenly hear the theme song from Deliverance?
__________________ If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain |
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01-25-2009, 06:43 AM
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#4 | | Member
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: mid west
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 83 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Don't forget your banjo.
__________________ "That's just my opinion, I could be wrong." |
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04-10-2009, 09:28 PM
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#5 | | Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: California
Posts: 512
Rep Power: 1601 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Will it look something like this??
Had to use the picture of the turtles and I didn't want to start a new thread!
__________________ Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
-Isaac Newton |
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04-11-2009, 04:43 AM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,055
Rep Power: 26883 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Would you say the bottom turtle is between a rock and a hard place?
__________________ The Saints will meet their match Nov. 30th when they face Tom Brady and the Patriots on MNF from New Orleans.
Last edited by Hoaxster; 04-11-2009 at 05:25 AM.
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04-11-2009, 06:45 PM
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#7 | | IQA Corporate Monitor
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Atlanta
Posts: 23
Rep Power: 0 | Re: Ooooh Noooo Quote:
Originally Posted by UpstateNYUPSer Would you say the bottom turtle is between a rock and a hard place? | If you see a turtle on top another turtle, you know it did not get there by itself. |
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