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Old 01-22-2009, 02:48 AM   #1
chev
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Default Ooooh Noooo

Retire to Alaska

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about
5:00...'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'

'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:31 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by chev View Post
Retire to Alaska

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about
5:00...'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'

'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'
Hey Chev, Drewed's having a party tonight and you're invited!

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Old 01-24-2009, 11:09 PM   #3
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Babooba View Post
Hey Chev, Drewed's having a party tonight and you're invited!

Why do I suddenly hear the theme song from Deliverance?
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Old 01-25-2009, 06:43 AM   #4
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Don't forget your banjo.
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:28 PM   #5
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Will it look something like this??



Had to use the picture of the turtles and I didn't want to start a new thread!
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Old 04-11-2009, 04:43 AM   #6
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Would you say the bottom turtle is between a rock and a hard place?
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Last edited by Hoaxster; 04-11-2009 at 05:25 AM.
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Old 04-11-2009, 06:45 PM   #7
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Default Re: Ooooh Noooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by UpstateNYUPSer View Post
Would you say the bottom turtle is between a rock and a hard place?
If you see a turtle on top another turtle, you know it did not get there by itself.
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