More stupid things customers say - Page 2 - Brown Cafe

02-26-2006, 06:57 PM

My favorite.

I left a box in a guy's garage, went to the end of the cul de sac and turned around to get to my next stop. All of a sudden, the guy comes runnin out of his garage, in his socks and flags me down. "Do I need to sign for the package you left?"

"yep, I'll be back tommorrow."

Tom B

handrail_hank · 02-28-2006, 06:23 PM

" How many times do you guys have to return back to the warehouse each day for another load" I've heard that one a few times in 22 years.

wornoutupser · 02-28-2006, 07:48 PM

Scratchking,

That reminds me of a situation a long time ago that happened to me.

I had a tint shop that got all kinds of COD's that were cash only right after we stopped taking cash. He had called in several times and I was told to wait as he had to walk next door to get his money orders.

I put a stop to that!

He walked out one day, and left a 2 lb. bag of M and M's on his desk. In the few minutes that it took to get the money order, I ate over 1/2 of the bag. I was never asked to wait again!

03-01-2006, 07:26 PM

I never write anything,just read alot, but this is unmatched anywhere by anyone, guarenteed. I was in an elevator going to the 2nd floor of a 2 story office building. This is Florida so there is no basement. A wowan enters the elevator and asks me, "does this elevator go up?" I was paralized with an over abundance of smart remarks. It doesn't end there. She then said "I need to go to the 7th floor." Holy cow I was completetly floored, because there is no building in this area that remote resembles a 7 story building. Then I suggested she might be looking for unit 7, and said "just follow me." She dissappeard and then I found her on the way down going into unit 1. I could barely finish that day.

03-02-2006, 06:03 PM

Cold/hot enough for you? Stay dry. Stay warm. Stay cool.

You are not the regular driver.

When you are finished with that last 2-wheeler full, you will be done for the day.

03-03-2006, 11:07 AM

A sup is with you and all day long you hear "it takes 2 of you to carry that letter, no wonder it cost so much to ship UPS"

Secretary "can't you see I'm on the phone? I will sign your board when I am done talking"

Retailer "you need to wait at the end of the line, I have paying customers in front of you"

Grocery stores receiving "the vendors were here before you and you must wait until I've checked in all their freight before I'll sign for that box"

Dell 3rd attempt--- oms message--you must reattempt delivery today. Customer states that they took the day off work and was home all day. They got the notice and don't know why you didn't ring or knock--very upset. You are right, I parked my diesel truck at the end of the cul de sac so you wouldn't hear it, snuck up to the door, left notice amd ran away. The customers responses "ok I did take a shower and you must have come during that time" " I only left for an hour at lunch" " I just went to drop the kids at school and pick them up" "it was the 3rd attempt and I didn't want it sent back"....can you call the 800# and tell them the truth!

Note on the door "can you deliver the box today to my work, it is very important that I get it today! I will be there until 4:30" The business is 12 miles/ 15 routes away!

DS · 03-03-2006, 06:30 PM

here for a pickup? where is it going?

are you gonna hook up the tv?

it has to be in a box?

the pkg is not ready,will you be in the area later on?

are you going to deliver this?

I had a pkg last week I mistakenly tried to deliver to
3481 whatever st. instead of 3581,when I realized my error
the lady says to me, I think 3581 is on the other side of the street

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

03-03-2006, 06:56 PM

How about people who come out of their house when you park and deliver to across the street. They always say "Do you have anything for me?"..,,,,and slam the door when you say you don't..

Mustang · 03-04-2006, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UPSmeoff

you ever heard the one about fedex and ups merging. yeah,,,,,,,,,,their gonna call it FEDUPS!!!!!!!!!!!
Man i hate that joke..

For me, it was all about the delivery (pun intended)... I heard the joke before I worked for UPS. To set this up right, you need to know that I sat by the door so I'd sign for packages and that one of the owners had a tendency to be into everyones business whether it involved him or not. Both the UPS and FedEx drivers knew this.

So one morning, first time ever, UPS and Fed Ex happen to deliver at the same time. Ron, seeing the opportunity to smooze / see what he can stir up, comes running over. I don't remember who started it, but the two drivers started talking to each other about the buy out as if it was real. Ron couldn't stand it, he was asking all *kinds* of questions. The drivers fielded them expertly and *finally* he got to the one they were waiting for.... "What is the new name going to be, have you heard?"

It was GREAT!!!! Not only because it was like watching a play from the front row, it was impromptu and it was the best joke on Ron ever!!!!

Mustang · 03-04-2006, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by handrail_hank

The other day I pulled up in front of a house, selected the package and stepped off the car. There was some kids playing in the yard across the street and they had a dog. The dog saw me and came over to greet me wagging his tail . He then walked beside me as I crossed the street and walked up the drive to the house that I had a delivery for. As I got close to the house the garage door started opening and I could see that someone was coming out so I stopped in front of the door to wait as the door opened up. A lady walks out of the garage and looks down at the dog next to me then looks up at me and says " Is that your dog?"

I was thinking about this when brushing my teeth and it came to me...

The next time (as it sounds like there is a good chance it will happen again), tell the person "Yes. You know how they have "Bring your kid to work day"? Well, today UPS is celebrating "Bring your pet to work"."

Then watch her freak out when you leave and you don't take the dog!!!!

8Years2Go · 03-07-2006, 09:37 PM

I've used the same response for years when asked if I know what they are receiving "You know I don't have time to open all the boxes on my car"

Back when we were using DIAD one, I'd leave it on top of the packages on my Magliner while I divered a office park on my route. One hot summer day it got quite warm and when a doctor signed for his package he felt how hot it was and said "Boy your little thing is hot!" and with a big smile I said "Why thank you" His nurse thought it was funny as hell, but he didn't. He gave me one nasty look.

25yrvet · 03-08-2006, 07:29 PM

To continue that...
I hand the diad to the lady boss to sign. She takes it & says, "How come your thingy is so big? The fdx guy's is alot smaller". I roll my eyes, look at her fellow employees, take the diad & get outta there.

25yrvet · 03-08-2006, 07:42 PM

UPS Jeff,
My reply to the retailer, secretary & grocier
"THAT'S OK, I'LL BRING IT BACK LATER"
NR 1 ....send again....bring it back the next day.
If they approach you about it the next day tell them, "I told you I'd bring it back later." that should put an end to the B.S.

Customer: "I'm kinda busy now." Me as I hand them the diad, "Hey, that makes two of us".

PLEASE don't take these remarks wrong, I love most of my customers & go the extra mile, but sometimes....

Never take our customers for granted.

Jaybyrdee · 03-10-2006, 06:52 PM

The one that really gets me is all summer long I'll deliver my last area between 5:30 and 6 P.M. Hand the packages to the customers,say hello and I'm on my way. Then we go off daylight savings time and now when I go to make deliveries I hear "Working late tonight aren't we" when in reality I'm there the same time all year long.
Jay

toonertoo · 03-10-2006, 07:06 PM

Or after you finish hauling an eight pkg lot of Bowflex to a door (where it will be on sale for 50 bucks at a garage sale this summer, unused ) and they say, "do I need to sign for the rest of these?". No just one of them, and heres your sign.

UPSBOI · 03-12-2006, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toonertoo

Or after you finish hauling an eight pkg lot of Bowflex to a door (where it will be on sale for 50 bucks at a garage sale this summer, unused ) and they say, "do I need to sign for the rest of these?". No just one of them, and heres your sign.

, and you just got more exercise out of it than the customer ever will.....

UPSmeoff · 03-13-2006, 05:02 AM

The next time someone looks at your stylus pen and that confused look of 'which end should i sign with?' appears.
Tell them that one end is for right handed people and the other end is for left handed people. They either get the joke right away or say, 'oh, i must use this end'.

Also have them speak their name slowly and clearly into the little microphone holes on top the diad.

03-13-2006, 10:24 AM

When you are driving down the road and an oncoming car flashes their headlights at you, hangs a u-turn and chases you down--just to hand you a recycle toner box with an ARS label.

Fredly000 · 03-13-2006, 10:28 PM

Oh I have a new one:

After bringing in 5-6 boxes into a stop:

Clerk: "that musta emptied out your truck"

Me: "not even close mam"

roach · 03-14-2006, 01:43 AM

Speaking of "stylus pens":

Last August I got nailed for speeding in Iowa. (No complaints from me as I was suffering from the "HUTAS" at the time - Head Up The Ass Syndrome).

I'd just pulled onto I-80 after spending the night in Council Bluffs and forgot that the speed limit was 55 right there. Three miles out, I got pulled over for doing 78 in a 55 zone - big time violation. Well, I turned on all my "charm" and BS'd with the officer for a while. Didn't get me out of a ticket, but he did reduce it to "65 in a 55" - cost me $56 rather than the $200+ it could have cost.

Oh yeah, getting back to the "stylus pen" - the Iowa State Highway Patrol cars have this really neat computer system in their cars - it shows your ticket on this screen and then you take a stylus and sign the screen and it prints your ticket right on the spot. Anyway, when the Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE" !!!!!!!

I ask him about it and he says he lost his and his delivery driver gave him an extra one. Talk about adding insult to injury.

InTheRed · 03-14-2006, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roach

Anyway, when the Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE" !!!!!!!

I ask him about it and he says he lost his and his delivery driver gave him an extra one. Talk about adding insult to injury.

..OUCH!

I've only heard of having to "sign a ticket." I never encountered that though. Is this pretty common?

over9five · 03-16-2006, 05:58 PM

"Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE""

And I say, "Trooper, if you give me a ticket I'll have you charged with receiving stolen property"!!!

ergusmc · 04-19-2006, 08:57 PM

a few years ago I had a guy pull up to my truck and ask me "do you have my pkg?" I asked him what his address was and he gave me an address for a town that was 20 miles away from my route. I told him sorry not today...

tapatio75 · 01-18-2009, 08:53 PM

I got this one on friday, it as a COD and they were short 3 bucks, since it was inside a mall, and I was there all day, I tried to get the check 3 times. the second time, he said, "let me call the company and ask them if I can give you something back so that the bill would be less than it is"

ups1990 · 05-21-2009, 07:29 AM

When a customer see's THE UPS logo on MY socks and then ask's, "do you have UPS underwear also?" HA HA HA HA HA STOP IT YOUR KILLING ME! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA REALLY STOP IT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.