More stupid things customers say - Brown Cafe

handrail_hank · 02-19-2006, 09:12 PM

The other day I pulled up in front of a house, selected the package and stepped off the car. There was some kids playing in the yard across the street and they had a dog. The dog saw me and came over to greet me wagging his tail . He then walked beside me as I crossed the street and walked up the drive to the house that I had a delivery for. As I got close to the house the garage door started opening and I could see that someone was coming out so I stopped in front of the door to wait as the door opened up. A lady walks out of the garage and looks down at the dog next to me then looks up at me and says " Is that your dog?"

Fredly000 · 02-19-2006, 10:07 PM

LOL thats funny.

I like the people that say "my dog never acts this way" (referring to
the bad dog) uhuh.. sure. whatever lady.

beentheredonethat · 02-20-2006, 05:54 PM

My favorite was when I was out on my route deliverying and a guy came and asked for his package. I got his name and company info and looked in my cargo area, and couldn't find it. I told him the bad news. He said look again, it has to be there it was shipped second day air on Monday. I said, but sir it's only Tuesday. Yeah, I know that, the customer says, Monday, Tuesday that's two days. I told him if that was true you could ship a package at 5:00 PM next day air on Monday and we would have delivered it by 10:30 AM earlier in the same day. We may be good, but we're not that good.

Fredly000 · 02-20-2006, 05:59 PM

I hear "your late" alot.. then I look at my watch and say, nope.

or the o-so famous, "i've been waiting for you all day" at a resi.

Or you stop directly in front of someones house and they say "ya have
something for me" then just answer while pointing down the street "nope, got something for that guy"

InTheRed · 02-20-2006, 09:18 PM

how about the infamous "stay dry" when it's raining cats and dogs out there?

Fredly000 · 02-20-2006, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InTheRed

how about the infamous "stay dry" when it's raining cats and dogs out there?

hehe don't hear that often, but I feel for my brothers and sisters that work
the pacific northwest. (it never rains here...)

I get the "stay warm" all the time.. yeah cause I just wander around all day
and hardly get my heart rate up above rest.

25yrvet · 02-21-2006, 07:28 AM

"Does ups ever sell those trucks? I'd like ta make a camper outta one of 'em."

NO...they have us drive this sub standard crap till the wheels fall off & then send 'em to hell to torture others. Or maybe this crap comes from hell. Gotta new paint job though.

Mr. Brown · 02-21-2006, 06:48 PM

How about when you hand the package to a customer and here the "what is it?" or "is it free?" I also still here "is Dale going to race the truck?"

fedxsux · 02-21-2006, 07:17 PM

here is a classic.

It was peak of '98. I made a delivery to a business, and had the secretary sign. She grabbed the Diad and said " Man, this is heavy"(diad) I responded,
" It seems heavier as the day goes on" She replies " I bet with all those signatures you collect it has to get heavier"::confused1

terry mac · 02-22-2006, 07:01 AM

Several years ago, I was delivering to a regular customer, it was kind of a "slow" day, we had just got the diad II. I was going to show her the useless red light, that shines out the bottom of the diad. I pointed it at the phone on her desk,just then the phone rang, she looked at me in amazement. I didnt say anything, just a knowing look, and scampered off.

Mr. Brown · 02-22-2006, 06:52 PM

when I was using the old diad and got signatures from the customers they would look at the stylus and ask "does it matter which end I use to sign?" :confused1

25yrvet · 02-23-2006, 09:35 PM

When they say that they are usually about to sign, then I'll say, "other end". It makes 'em look & actually think while they're at work.
How 'bout the idiots who don't put the stylus completely back in the spring holders or the ones who grab their pen to sign.

jules23 · 02-24-2006, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fedxsux

here is a classic.

It was peak of '98. I made a delivery to a business, and had the secretary sign. She grabbed the Diad and said " Man, this is heavy"(diad) I responded,
" It seems heavier as the day goes on" She replies " I bet with all those signatures you collect it has to get heavier"::confused1

Well, that gave me a good laugh...When I jumped for peak (just to clarify i have never been a driver)...i always enjoyed when someone would ask me what was in the box...my standard response was 'i don't know, santa get's mad when we look'. I figured it would be better than 'sorry my xray vision is on the blink today' or 'we didn't have time to open everything before we left this morning.'

browniehound · 02-24-2006, 09:22 AM

If I could find out the anwser to this question before I die I will die a happy person: What on God's green earth do customers expect for an anwser when they ask "What is it?" I mean, I really don't what to say so I just don't say anything and ask them if they would please sign. What else am I to do?

ikoi62 · 02-24-2006, 02:36 PM

i remember when we used to deliver the adult toys to houses..i had this one stop where every time i went there she would ask "whats in the box" lots of times it was easy.
if it was from jcpenney's i say clothes or sears i would say tools..and so on..this one time i went there i had the brown bag from the adult store in hand,i knocked she opened and siad Hi..bob whats in the bag? all i said was toys. she signed and opened the bag looked in turned bright red

looked at me and said thanks and closed the door. i ran back to the truck laughing my ass off

..that was a few years ago..when ever i went there after that it was just "Hi bob how are you.." never asked whats in the box again.

Fredly000 · 02-24-2006, 09:15 PM

I love when people ask "what I'd get"

One box... or if multiple boxes
One white box, one brown box.
One brown box, one smushed box...

UPSmeoff · 02-24-2006, 10:07 PM

Race the truck Dale!!!!

UPSmeoff · 02-24-2006, 10:11 PM

you ever heard the one about fedex and ups merging. yeah,,,,,,,,,,their gonna call it FEDUPS!!!!!!!!!!!
Man i hate that joke..

outta hours · 02-25-2006, 07:49 AM

" The guy that writes the checks will be right back ... can you wait?

browniehound · 02-25-2006, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outta hours

" The guy that writes the checks will be right back ... can you wait?

Or how about: They weren't supposed to send that cod. Can you call them and see if you can leave it?
No you friggin moron

scratch · 02-25-2006, 08:01 AM

Or how about "will you wait here while I go get a money order?" or "where will you be so I can meet you on your area?". Also, " I don't get home until after 6PM, will you deliver it then?"

outta hours · 02-25-2006, 01:05 PM

Scratch- love the 6 pm. comment. I always try to explain that we only have 1 shift.

danlin · 02-25-2006, 01:31 PM

My reply to the "Whats in it ?" is always "I didn't get around to opening it yet"
and when they write on the del notice I will be home after 6. I put "so will I"

true_1_ace · 02-25-2006, 07:48 PM

last summer I had a brok cod tag on a pkg ,on the second del attempt a note on the door read as follows "dear ups driver pls leave pkg at front door and I will pay you later" I laughed so loud the next door neibour opened their door only to see me wipe tears of laughter from my face,there was no third attempt!

30andout · 02-26-2006, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by true_1_ace

last summer I had a brok cod tag on a pkg ,on the second del attempt a note on the door read as follows "dear ups driver pls leave pkg at front door and I will pay you later" I laughed so loud the next door neibour opened their door only to see me wipe tears of laughter from my face,there was no third attempt!

Aw cummon true don"t you trust your customers better than that you know noone would screw a UPS driver.