You might be a
UPS driver.......
If at almost $30 an hour your high school educated self actually feels underpaid
If you can remember the exact location and addresses of everyone on your route but can't find your car back at your hub
If you've ever waived at the mailman when in your personal vehicle out of habit
You go to a friends or family members house for the first time and critique their DR spots
If you try to impress your friends by reciting the exact address and zip code of various malls, stores, etc.
If at the very first sight of a Christmas decoration at your local department store makes you uncontrollably scream out curse words and punch your fists in the air cuz it's peak again.
If the last time you had time to sleep with your wife was 11 months ago yet you just had a newborn.
If you slapped your sister-in-law cuz she said she was going to name her baby "Ed".
If you've ever been in an accident with your own personal vehicle and before showing any concern for your passengers you yell out, "Oh thank God I wasn't in my
UPS truck!"
If you've ever tapped your horn in your own personal vehicle while backing.
If you've heard the same dumb joke "do you have a big package for me?" over 4,000 times.
If your sister asked, "do you have a big package for me" just once out of those 4,000 times then you might be an Alabama
UPS driver.
If the only times you've ever heard your manager say "good job, buddy!" only to be followed by "for screwing up again".