Amusing UPS Stories

RockyRogue · 03-05-2007, 06:01 PM

I was driver helping in Denver for Peak 2006 and we pull up to this house, driver nods up and says, "Don't get startled. There's a dog that lays beneath that bush." I nod, take the package and head up to the door. I look around and see no dog. I found out he was on the opposite side of where I'd assumed he was. He saw me and gave one quick bark. I jump and whirl to see him, laying down but had brought his head up to bark. He wasn't being hostile so I continued to the door and DR'ed the package. When I turned to look at him, he made a noise I could swear is the equivalent of a doggy chuckle. He lay right back down and returned to his snooze. -Rocky

rockymtnupser · 03-05-2007, 07:27 PM

When we used to have driver sort and load we used to open those 1 apple court pkgs.(sex toys) and admire the size of the things our customers would get. haha Well we didnt get one taped up and the driver who delivered the pkg realized after releasing to the customer 4 stops later he finds the toy fell out behind another pkg. too embarassed to return he said he threw it in the bushes a couple blocks away.

akira-san · 03-06-2007, 03:26 PM

i too started my ups career way back in 1975 in sunny san diego ca. now i'm very happily retired. got a good laugh out of it, thanks !!

Ruralbrownman · 03-06-2007, 04:58 PM

Not sure if this is funny or sad , but here goes. We had a driver that slipped in the back of his package car on a rainy day. The next day our division manager , who now is working in Atlanta , called our safety committee chairperson and wanted him to do the following. Get a white roll of paper and have each driver step on it with his work shoes on , then each driver would sign his name by his shoe print , the paper was then to be sent to her so she could she if the soles on our work shoes were worn out or still good. Needless to say , this was never done!!!!!!!

Sammie · 03-06-2007, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruralbrownman

Not sure if this is funny or sad , but here goes. We had a driver that slipped in the back of his package car on a rainy day. The next day our division manager , who now is working in Atlanta , called our safety committee chairperson and wanted him to do the following. Get a white roll of paper and have each driver step on it with his work shoes on , then each driver would sign his name by his shoe print , the paper was then to be sent to her so she could she if the soles on our work shoes were worn out or still good. Needless to say , this was never done!!!!!!!

Sounds like this manager would do well on CSI!!

over9five · 03-06-2007, 06:48 PM

"...he said he threw it in the bushes a couple blocks away."

Translation:

He took it home and tried it out with the wife!

satellitedriver · 03-06-2007, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ups79

Why didn't you just reach inside through the 3 inch hole and lift the latch up?

My arm is larger than 3 inches. Easier to use a tool than lose flesh.

BLACKBOX · 03-06-2007, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by over9five

"...he said he threw it in the bushes a couple blocks away."

Translation:

He took it home and tried it out with the wife!

I would've taken it to the batting cage!

ups79 · 03-07-2007, 07:19 AM

satellite-I said nothing about your arm. I guess I should of said your hand up to your wrist. The latch was right there.

cental34 · 03-07-2007, 01:10 PM

Not too amusing, but a coworker and I were unloading a Dell Computers truck last night, and he came across a half-filled bottle of a dark yellow substance. The bottle had the label ripped off, but it appeared to be a Pepsi bottle. I asked him if he knew what it was (I did), and he said it was either Mellow Yellow or Mountain Dew. I told him it was too dark to be either of those and that it was a Pepsi bottle. He finally caught on and tossed it out of the trailer.

UPSwannaB · 03-08-2007, 12:21 PM

Today the UPS guy pulled up in front of the school. He usually comes every day around 7th period. Anyway today he pulled up and walked to the back of the truck to get the packages. At the same time a lady was walking her dogs down the street. (It was weird because she was carrying her big dog, and the little tiny one was following behind her, not on a leash.) Anyway, she goes past the truck, and the little dog stops, looks at the truck, and bolts into it lol. It took about 10 seconds, but finally the dog came out being pushed by a big box. Had the whole class laughing.

BTW, I wasn't goofing off in class, I had my work finished

satellitedriver · 03-08-2007, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ups79

satellite-I said nothing about your arm. I guess I should of said your hand up to your wrist. The latch was right there.

The hole was at the top of the door. the latch was in the middle of the door. Guess I should have explained that. Sorry to confuse you with my explaination of the situation. Or better yet, I should have called the center and sat by the side of the road for a couple of hours for someone to bring me a key.

helenofcalifornia · 03-08-2007, 08:21 PM

Ouch!!! Wonder how they wrote up that accident report?

MitEman · 03-09-2007, 06:31 PM

Those were some hilarious stories! I have had so many funny situations happen in my presence or heard about first hand in my 20+ years at UPS. We had a 20 year part time employee retire, we laughed for 2 hours straight, at an unofficial retirement lunch . When we left Applebees laughing all the way out the door, all the patrons were looking out the windows, and chuckling. Someone asked, "Where do you all work?" I proudly said-"UPS."

OldManAllowance · 03-10-2007, 01:26 PM

As a cover driver I once was at a farm. I've heard of affectionate pets but this place had an affectionate goat. It was a hot summer day and my passenger door was open. The car was barely stopped when the goat jumps up into the cab. All I could hear was this click, click noise of his hoofs on the metal deck. All the time this goat is jumping around, stepping on my feet and bucking the bulk head door (aren't you proud I had it closed!). This goat won't leave untill you pet it awhile.
The next day I asked the regular guy about the stop. He says "Oh didn't anyone mention the goat? Just be glad he did'nt get in the cargo area with you....

EAM_Master · 03-11-2007, 06:27 AM

During peak of 2000 I was working the local sort. Because we were really hitting our numbers, our boss thought it would be nice to make some chili. She made the regular red beef chili, and then some white-chicken chili. Both tasted really good. I guess the chicken chili sat around too long in the break room. The next day EVERYONE who ate the chicken chili just got sicker than hell! We had to shut down the sort a couple of times because everyone was running to the crapper! One kid was a driver helper and had to stop 6 times while out with the driver. To this day, she denies that it was her chili that made everyone sick

over9five · 03-11-2007, 06:30 AM

Once in a while, they have soup for us when we get in.

I think the same thing: If this soup is bad, you'll have all 50 of us out tomorrow!

dillweed · 03-11-2007, 07:17 AM

When I first started air driving a supervisor had to "ride with" us three times before we were allowed to go out on our own. It was pretty rough to find one willing to take the time for just an air driver but finally got one cornered.

Good natured young man willing to risk life and limb riding with a middle age woman with lots of years as an inside worker and no desire to be a hero driver.

All went well except I was not as agressive behind the wheel as he would have liked. Then, we came to a shopping area surrounded by ponds, geese and ducks. You'd know it, as soon as I turned into the drive a row of baby ducks was crossing behind a proud mother. I stopped waayyyyyy back so as not to startle the little darlings and was enjoying the parade.

Mr. Supervisor was NOT enjoying the parade and told me to move closer. I very slowly inched along until the ducks were past, then tooled along as normal. Meanwhile, I told him that there was no way I would hit an animal in the line of duty and was known to stop and help turtles across the road. He earned his money that day and I still stop for animals. dw

Sammie · 03-11-2007, 01:48 PM

Thought of a few more. Maybe I'm getting "partzimers"
since I can't remember everything all at once...

In the days before guard shacks and all that, my manager was about to turn 40. He was a great guy, now retired; everybody just loved him.

We decided to 'put on the dog' and arranged a surprise birthday party for him in the office. We set it up in the conference room which was far enough away so he didn't notice all the activity. We brought food in and I collected $ for a cake and a singing telegram. Didn't specify much on what the singing telegram should be, just said it was for an office party.

Our manager was a small, tidy man; five foot, maybe. And he didn't like to be touched. Don't shake his hand, pat him on the back, none of that stuff.

So I met the singing telegram at the front door of UPS. Right away I knew this would be interesting. She wore a coat over her outfit, of course, a pretty lady with a large frame who stood well over over six feet.

I hid her in the supply closet in the conference room and we got our boss to come in there. Surrounded by the food, gifts, cake and singing, we saw the telegraph bound out of the closet wearing a bit of red satin but mostly black lace and black fishnet. She grabbed him and plunked him down on her lap, don't think his feet touched the floor. She kept hugging him and kissing him and burying him in her bosom...

Thought that day would be my last!

***
Another time was the wedding anniversary of a fellow office worker. We were located in an building with other companies so a guard shack didn't apply. Anybody could wander in.
One of the ladies husbands decided to send her a singing telegram on this special day to profess his love, I guess.
This was the office where accounting, payroll, accts payable & receivables, COD's, etc. were done and it was pretty exact work. There was never any chit chat and you could hear a pin drop at all times.
It was a summer day and I was sitting at the back of the room by a glass door. We were all a bit nervous because our departments were being audited by UPS super managers from National so things were exceptionally tidy.

I thought it odd in this hot weather that a young man came in the back door wearing jeans and a heavy trench coat all belted up. He was well into the room when he whipped off the coat. His blue jeans only came up to his knees and the rest of his clothes was a little yellow ribbon, tied in a lovely bow.

He danced and sang (had a beautiful voice!!) all over the room and the guys from National laughed harder than anyone else. The room was transformed into dozens of shrieking women (ever been to a Chippendale show?) and the rest of the day went to you know where in a basket.
***
We raise quite a bit of money here for the United Way.
One year management put up a dunk tank to raise funds (50 cents a pop) and that had to be the biggest money maker in history. Never did it again, though.

Imaging aiming that ball at your favorite manager!!

westsideworma · 03-11-2007, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammie

Thought of a few more. Maybe I'm getting "partzimers"
since I can't remember everything all at once...

In the days before guard shacks and all that, my manager was about to turn 40. He was a great guy, now retired; everybody just loved him.

We decided to 'put on the dog' and arranged a surprise birthday party for him in the office. We set it up in the conference room which was far enough away so he didn't notice all the activity. We brought food in and I collected $ for a cake and a singing telegram. Didn't specify much on what the singing telegram should be, just said it was for an office party.

Our manager was a small, tidy man; five foot, maybe. And he didn't like to be touched. Don't shake his hand, pat him on the back, none of that stuff.

So I met the singing telegram at the front door of UPS. Right away I knew this would be interesting. She wore a coat over her outfit, of course, a pretty lady with a large frame who stood well over over six feet.

I hid her in the supply closet in the conference room and we got our boss to come in there. Surrounded by the food, gifts, cake and singing, we saw the telegraph bound out of the closet wearing a bit of red satin but mostly black lace and black fishnet. She grabbed him and plunked him down on her lap, don't think his feet touched the floor. She kept hugging him and kissing him and burying him in her bosom...

Thought that day would be my last!

***
Another time was the wedding anniversary of a fellow office worker. We were located in an building with other companies so a guard shack didn't apply. Anybody could wander in.
One of the ladies husbands decided to send her a singing telegram on this special day to profess his love, I guess.
This was the office where accounting, payroll, accts payable & receivables, COD's, etc. were done and it was pretty exact work. There was never any chit chat and you could hear a pin drop at all times.
It was a summer day and I was sitting at the back of the room by a glass door. We were all a bit nervous because our departments were being audited by UPS super managers from National so things were exceptionally tidy.

I thought it odd in this hot weather that a young man came in the back door wearing jeans and a heavy trench coat all belted up. He was well into the room when he whipped off the coat. His blue jeans only came up to his knees and the rest of his clothes was a little yellow ribbon, tied in a lovely bow.

He danced and sang (had a beautiful voice!!) all over the room and the guys from National laughed harder than anyone else. The room was transformed into dozens of shrieking women (ever been to a Chippendale show?) and the rest of the day went to you know where in a basket.
***
We raise quite a bit of money here for the United Way.
One year management put up a dunk tank to raise funds (50 cents a pop) and that had to be the biggest money maker in history. Never did it again, though.

Imaging aiming that ball at your favorite manager!!

I was told we had the dunk tank before (before I was at this hub) and they made a LOT of money. I wish they'd bring it back, I'd put my whole check into it after one of "those" shifts from hell lol

Dirty Savage · 10-13-2007, 11:40 PM

Thread necromancy, FTW!

So here it was a nice summers day and I'm delivering to a quiet residential street at around 10 in the morning. I have a +19 sig req computer to deliver. Ring the door bell. Hear a voice from the back yard yell "UPS? Come to the back!" So I do.

Come around the corner and there's this 40ish dude sitting on the deck, drinking coffee in his bathrobe. Put the box on the deck as small-talk ensues. Hold out the DIAD for him to sign and he gets out of his chair and his robe opens and, TADA, there he is in all his glory. He continues to chat whilst he signs, all the while his junk is just hanging there and he's just as natural as can be. He hands me back my DIAD and then turns and yells into the house "Hey ma! Bring me the phone!"

So wrong on so many levels. Needless to say I had to scrub my eyeballs after that.

Good times.