Amusing UPS Stories

CBUK · 02-10-2008, 01:40 PM

I was delivering in Cambridge City Centre a few years back on a day when HM Queen ElizabethII was visiting the University.

Wherever her majesty goes, she is followed by a huge security entourage so I had endured a morning of constant hassle from the Police moving me on saying "you can't stop there, you can't stop there either" etc etc.

I pulled up to the porters lodge at Queens College grabbed their package and made a dash for the post room ignoring the shouts behind me.

As usual the College staff are too busy doing other things to bother with me but I needed to be in and out quickly. I barged my way to the front of a queue of students and asked for a signature.

"Sorry sir, you need to wait in the queue and I'll deal with you in a minute".

At this point an armed response officer (SWAT in the U.S) flys through the door and says to the guy.

"You're gonna sign for that package now. I've got a gun".

I was parked in front of the rapid response unit. The look on the College porters face is one I will take to the grave with me. I did get a grilling from the Police on the way out but I think they could see what sort of pressure I was under.

02-24-2008, 04:52 PM

There was a UPS sales rep on the east coast who always busted chops about other 's kids being non-atletic, hand-models etc. You get the picture. Well a friend of mine whose kid went to high school with this rep's son told me that his son wrote and starred in a play where the other actors slammed chocolate pies at his behind.
Needless to say the rep has become a little more subdued since we all found out.

ol'browneye · 02-24-2008, 08:00 PM

A fellow driver delivered to a house where a german shephard always gave him trouble. One day he pulled up and the dog was nowhere to be found so he went on up to the front porch. As he knocked on the door the dog came racing around the side of the house and was coming after him on the front porch. The people weren't home and with no place to go he grabbed a piece of firewood for self defense. As the dog attacked him he wacked it on the head with the firewood and killed it! He didn't know what to do so he stuck it in a DR bag and threw it in the back of the truck. Later he tossed it in a creek! Next time he delivered to that house he asked about the dog. They said "We don't know what happened to him, he just disappeared!"

ol'browneye · 02-24-2008, 08:04 PM

This same driver ran over what he thought was a dead beagle laying in the road only to see it squirming and howling in pain in his mirror. The dogs' owner saw it happen...boy were they upset! BTW, the dog died.

ol'browneye · 02-24-2008, 08:14 PM

I hit a duck while leaving our building one morning. I had to turn around and go back as it shattered the drivers window except for a perfectly round circle where the duck hit. My CM thought it was rather amusing but made me fill out an accident report anyway. My description of the accident included the following-"I was southbound on the expressway and collided with an eastbound duck!" Question- "were there any fatalities". Answer- "only the duck". When I left with a different pkg car, the duck was missing from the side of the road. I guess someone picked it up!

Actually I consider myself pretty lucky on this one. I had bits of glass in my lap and the round area of the windshield where the duck hit was right in front of my face! If it had been a 55mph zone instead of 40 I might not be here to tell this story today!

satellitedriver · 02-26-2008, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ol'browneye

I hit a duck while leaving our building one morning. I had to turn around and go back as it shattered the drivers window except for a perfectly round circle where the duck hit. My CM thought it was rather amusing but made me fill out an accident report anyway. My description of the accident included the following-"I was southbound on the expressway and collided with an eastbound duck!" Question- "were there any fatalities". Answer- "only the duck". When I left with a different pkg car, the duck was missing from the side of the road. I guess someone picked it up!

Actually I consider myself pretty lucky on this one. I had bits of glass in my lap and the round area of the windshield where the duck hit was right in front of my face! If it had been a 55mph zone instead of 40 I might not be here to tell this story today!

Did you "duck" before it hit the windshield?
Sorry, I could not resist the pun.

moreluck · 02-26-2008, 08:28 PM

Satellite........you 'quack' me up !!

mountaingoat · 02-27-2008, 05:18 AM

That's totally fowl!

ol'browneye · 03-01-2008, 09:48 PM

stop it!!!! you're killin' me!!!!

03-02-2008, 01:54 PM

Hope that east coast rep had a sense of humor about his kid being in that pay.. In our office we would have given him the business ala "Lethal Weapon 2". Pie day, SNL routine Adam Sandler and Chris Farley poolside beer commercial, etc. etc.

In this biz you have to take as well as receive

HEFFERNAN · 03-03-2008, 10:21 AM

How 'bout this one.

I was delivering in a housing authority on a hot summer day. I pull up to the apartment and go to the back to grab their package. All of a sudden I hear some kid yelling for my attention from the driver side of the car. As I walk out into the cab facing the driver door, another kid on the other side throws a water balloon square into my face. I was totally stunned because I didnt hear him there. They run laughing as I'm standing there figuring out what to do. I was pissed but I just grabbed the box and made the delivery attempt.
It was about 90 degrees outside so the water did feel good at the time. It's not like I was gonna chase a couple of 11 year olds and beat the crap out of them
My friends always bring it up when we're talking about UPS

03-13-2008, 01:44 PM

To the east coast rep:

The bad news is your son may never grace the roads in a big brown package van

Good news: Could be driving a "Big Red Car"

03-14-2008, 08:30 PM

Our unload supe was chating with an unloader on break about this bed and breakfast they stayed at where they were the only straght couple out of like 15 gay couples. When the unloader finished his story you could see the lightbulb pop up over the supes head, "dude you know motel 8's motto we leave the light on for you, i bet that b&b's motto is when you leave we will pack your

for you." another lightbulb over his head "OMG i should put in for a transfer to marketing, "UPS, we will pack your

" marketing gold. That supe was the coolest ever, I could literly say anything to him as long as the FT managers werent around and he would have a comback ready.

jds4lunch · 03-27-2008, 06:21 PM

Today I had a delivery for a Government building. I told the lady at the security desk who it was for, and she said, "He's on the 3rd floor in room 306." Well as it turns out, room 306 was the men's bathroom.

jds4lunch · 04-03-2008, 05:35 PM

This isn't as funny as it is a prime example of how stupid people can be. This was a conversation I was involved in yesterday while picking up at the UPS Store:

I was waiting for the gal at the counter to finish up her last intl air so I could leave and meet the plane, when in walks a guy who wants to send cash from here to Edmonton (which is west of here). For reasons unknown to myself, he refuses to go to the bank next door to get a money order, or use Western Union to send the money, and says he needs it there tomorrow. Anyway, he wants to send $20, and the clerk at the UPS store informs him of the risks of sending cash, one of them being that the money could be stolen or confiscated in Winnipeg (which is east of here, but is our nearest hub). Without thinking, the guy immediatly flies off the handle and says, "Why the hell would it go to Winnipeg? I'm sending it to Edmonton which is west." I say, "Yes but air packages aren't sent out according to east and west, they are sent to the nearest hub to be sorted, then to the hub in the appropriate province." He says, "That makes NO sense! I want to send this to Edmonton, which is west. WEST IS THAT WAY!" (points north east). I said, "I know which way west is. Since Winnipeg is closer to here than Calgary, we send our air freight to Winnipeg, then your envelope will get re-sorted and send to Calgary, then to Edmonton. Canada Post does the same thing, and so does every other courier in the world." He then says, "Well thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" and then stormed out.

05-11-2008, 02:47 AM

UPS sales rep went to Cape Cod withhis brother-in-law for a golfing extravaganza.

Co-worker said they actually spent the week-end playing naked Twister.

rweyant · 06-13-2008, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helenofcalifornia

I heard this one from one of our feeder drivers. At a center in our district a driver attempting to deliver a package to a residence, had to swat at a dog who ran off scared. The owner of the dog is now trying to sue UPS for the expenses of a dog psychologist her dog has to go to because Fido was so traumatized.

A driver in kissimmee kicked a dog and they are suiing because they had to put it down....

One of our drivers just got attacked by a pit bull and got 20 stitches.. oh and the dog never had his rabies shot.. and it was the third person it attacked.. so they finally put it down..

Boonebird · 06-27-2008, 03:13 AM

I have one that takes that cake. I was a drivers helper two years ago during peak. I suffer from migraines something fierce. I started to get one and the driver decied to drive around honking the horn to be funny. I turned green real quick. It was pitch dark out. We stopped at a house I walked down this guys brand new drive way. It was still roped off. I barfed in the middle of it. I dropped the package at the door and ran. Dude im sick you have to take me back to my truck. Um no. Get out and walk. Im in the middle of the sticks. No clue where I am. I started walking. It was 7 miles back to my truck. Kids.