Management Quotes

[tups]

Ok, I know there are many of these out there, so who's got some good ones they heard from their CM or on-car sup that really made you say What book did you learn that from? one of my favorites went like this.

Sup: Send in Eta to building WITH TIME.

Me: Am going to be over 9.5 by 15 minutes.

Sup: I need 15 minutes

Me: I need 15 less stops.

Sup: Need you to make 9.5

Me: Sorry


And after booking off sick.......

Me: I wont be in....too sick.

Sup: Need you to work through it, I'll see you at 0830.

Me: I'm sorry, can't.

Sup: Can't you take something?

I know they got a job to do, but sometimes what they say just really cracks me up. One of these days I'm gonna write a book full of these quotes and sell it. Oh, wait.....I'd probably get sued for copyright infringement.

[BigBrownSanta]

Me: Do we have any DR bags?

Sup: No, the budgets been cut.

Me: How am I supposed to DR pkgs in the rain?

Sup: Find a dry spot.

[jds4lunch]

This is my all time favorite

(after reporting a problem to sup)
sup: "we'll look into it"

[outamyway]

My first on road training sup told me on my fisrt day driving. "you have to be aggressive, but safe." I'll never forget that one.

[outamyway]

Originally Posted by jds4lunch

This is my all time favorite

(after reporting a problem to sup)
sup: "we'll look into it"

The supervisor that handles our payroll problems says that to me. I want to slug him in the face. He's one of the most useless sups I've ever seen. Some of us have started asking other sups in other centers to fix our payroll problems. It's embarrassing.

[rod]

Originally Posted by outamyway

My first on road training sup told me on my fisrt day driving. "you have to be aggressive, but safe." I'll never forget that one.

They always told us "aggressive but under control". It was hard to get a good quote out of management at my center. Usually all you saw of them was their back side as they were ignoring you and your problem as they walked away.

[BigBrownSanta]

Originally Posted by outamyway

The supervisor that handles our payroll problems says that to me. I want to slug him in the face. He's one of the most useless sups I've ever seen. Some of us have started asking other sups in other centers to fix our payroll problems. It's embarrassing.

I had 3 sups and a cm that kept saying that to me about a payroll problem. When it was finally resolved, they paid me $350 more than they would have if they had actually "looked into it".

[kuff]

"I'ts figured in."

[trplnkl]

Originally Posted by kuff

"I'ts figured in."

Good one Kuff.
"I'ts figured in."= your gonna take in the shorts.

[trplnkl]

"make it happen"

[longlunchguy]

If you look closely at the back of our CM's neck, there is a ring and a string...pull the string and he says.............."We'll fix that tommorrow!"

[KBlakk]

My personal favorite is when there is a leaking package that has the belt stopped and the sup come up screaming run the belt it's only rain water while the liquid is begining to eat thru the belt.

[trickpony1]

"I'll get back with you" is a classic.

[freeloader]

Here's a classic although it's not a quote:

PT sup in charge of a fairly heavy outbound area. The belt constantly screeches and makes that banging sound like the chain is jumping off the motor drive. He gets this brilliant idea that the belt just needs lubricated. So he gets a few buckets of water and pours it all over the conveyor belt. It is literally raining in the walkway underneath the belt and the conveyor motor is drenched. The next day everything was rusted and the conveyor motor seized up. Amazingly enough, he kept his job.

[local804]

It is what it is

[freeloader]

Oh I got another. When I was a small sorter way back in the days before overhead scanners, baggers had to read all the packages as they bagged them to prevent missorts. Reading packages really slowed baggers down so near the end of the night the sort manager would tell us to just bag and not read the packages. During an audit, of course we had to read everything all night.

Sort Manager: if the auditors ask, you read everything, all the time.
Baggers: yeah, sure, no problem

Auditor (to bagger): do you read every package, all the time?
Bagger: uh, no not all the time.

(Later on, bagger in Sort Manager's office)
Sort Manager: I thought I told you to say you read everything, all the time.
Bagger: yes you did
Sort Manager: Then why did you say that you didn't.
Bagger: because that's the truth and I didn't want to lie
Sort Manager: Why on earth would you tell the truth when I told you exactly what to say??
Bagger: I didn't want to lie
Sort Manager: good bye

[freeloader]

Alright, last one...

When you suck, but they can't tell you that you suck, you are just "least best".

[disneyworld]

"It comes off nice"

[Fnix]

Originally Posted by freeloader

Here's a classic although it's not a quote:

PT sup in charge of a fairly heavy outbound area. The belt constantly screeches and makes that banging sound like the chain is jumping off the motor drive. He gets this brilliant idea that the belt just needs lubricated. So he gets a few buckets of water and pours it all over the conveyor belt. It is literally raining in the walkway underneath the belt and the conveyor motor is drenched. The next day everything was rusted and the conveyor motor seized up. Amazingly enough, he kept his job.

oh man what center is this? water is not a lubricant

[westsideworma]

Originally Posted by Fnix

oh man what center is this? water is not a lubricant

no kidding, we had a belt stop running because it was wet...(bottles of water broke open). Never in a million years would I resort to water to lubricate a belt, slide or anything in that manner.

[westsideworma]

Originally Posted by local804

It is what it is

When I was an hourly I heard that a lot, particularly when we talked about PAS and the problems we were having. I wanted to sock him in the jaw...thankfully he was transferred.

[hoser]

sup: "hahahaa, you mean i can't handle pacakges?"
me: "yes."
sup: "why not?"
me: "is it your first day here?"
sup: "why?"

[Fnix]

Originally Posted by hoser