sick amusement

soberups · 03-19-2008, 11:18 PM

So the other day Im walking up to a house to make a delivery. The customer had the stereo going, so he never heard me pull up. I smell weed through the open window, and can hear the unmistakeable sound of a bong hit in progress. So I wait...and wait...and wait...until I hear his thumb let up off the carb hole, then I POUND on the door and announce "UPS" in a deep voice.

My timing was perfect; I scared the crap out of the poor guy right at the EXACT moment when his lungs were maxed out. This sent him into an uncontrollable fit of spastic, hacking coughing. I could see him through the window, his eyes were watering, he had snot running out of his nose, and in his panic he knocked his bong off of the coffee table and spilled weed and bong water all over the floor. His friend was jumping around trying to hide everything. It was priceless. When he finally made it to the door I very politely gave him his package, but while he was signing the DIAD I kept sniffing the air and looking around with a suspicious look on my face like I smelled something funny. I'm betting he was paranoid for the rest of the day!!

dilligaf · 03-19-2008, 11:31 PM

OMG I am laughing so hard. I don't care who you are that is freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rof l:

browndude · 03-20-2008, 05:40 AM

uhhhhh how is it that you seem to know so much about bongs? lol

trplnkl · 03-20-2008, 05:44 AM

I agree Browndude, as I read that is was like reading science fiction.

dilligaf · 03-20-2008, 07:38 AM

Science fiction or not it is still funny as hell. Don't you guys ever read comic strips just for a laugh?

ikoi62 · 03-20-2008, 08:32 AM

I got a good laugh from it!

dino · 03-20-2008, 08:52 AM

What's a bong?

rod · 03-20-2008, 08:53 AM

far out

Channahon · 03-20-2008, 09:08 AM

Hope their reading material didn't get wet!!

High Times magazine is still out there on Amazon.com

ikoi62 · 03-20-2008, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dino

What's a bong?

i hope you are joking...if not,
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...icial%26sa%3DN

mattwtrs · 03-20-2008, 09:47 AM

Drugs, sex & rock-n-roll. Sooner or later you will observe it out on the delivery area! You usually never forget it either even when you wish you could!

brownIEman · 03-20-2008, 09:48 AM

that is awesome... Agreed, don't matter who you are, this is a funny story...

Thanks for posting it, I am going to be chuckling the rest of the day

filthpig · 03-20-2008, 11:02 AM

I used to deliver in one of the "hippie" parts of town and ran into that alot. What a hoot.

filthpig · 03-20-2008, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattwtrs

Drugs, sex & rock-n-roll. Sooner or later you will observe it out on the delivery area! You usually never forget it either even when you wish you could!

True. Unfortunately, the sex part has never involved anything good. There are some things you just can't "unsee".

feeder53 · 03-20-2008, 01:19 PM

Bong is the noise you get when you hit a gong with a clapper.

Big Babooba · 03-20-2008, 01:48 PM

Having a route in the middle of 5 colleges I have delivered to many student apartment complexes. I have made a few deliveries where I hoped that I didn't run into the local police because I smelled like I was partying along with the customers. BTW, I never inhaled

.

Harley Rider · 03-20-2008, 07:43 PM

Great story!

Once I was delivering to a house and the guys opened the door. The smoke rolled out the door. It was so thick it looked like the house was on fire. Had alot of deliveries and smelled weed but nothing like that before.

upsgrunt · 03-20-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harley Rider

Great story!

Once I was delivering to a house and the guys opened the door. The smoke rolled out the door. It was so thick it looked like the house was on fire. Had alot of deliveries and smelled weed but nothing like that before.

Isn't it funny how some of it smells so much better than others? I can tell when I deliver to the rich college students; they smoke the high dollar good smelling stuff. The poorer ones get by on the ditch weed.

Cementups · 03-20-2008, 08:25 PM

Nice one Sober

03-20-2008, 09:18 PM

"Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent, the rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin."

UPS Lifer · 03-21-2008, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by filthpig

I used to deliver in one of the "hippie" parts of town and ran into that alot. What a hoot.

I delivered to Venice CA back in the 70's. I loved every minute of it!!!

rebel · 03-22-2008, 11:27 AM

You know you stood by that window for 10 minutes taking deep breaths and got the munchies.

soberups · 03-22-2008, 07:21 PM

Back when we still handled cash for COD's, I delivered a set of halide grow lights COD to a guy who was obviously stoned. He went into a back room to get the money, and came out with a wad of bills that was sticky and REEKED of skunky buds. He was dealing; all the bills were mixed up and in small denominations, and he was just putting them into the same bag he pulled the buds out of. That evening I had my manager count the bills and initial the turn-in envelpe before I dropped it in the safe. The money still reeked, and he got a funny look on his face but he didnt want to say anything and admit that he was familiar with the odor.