UPS Driver commits suicide

[tonyexpress]

Originally Posted by big_arrow_up

I know a little more about what happened than most people on the board could unless they work in the area. I can say that the way in which your husband was approached afterwards could have been handled much better.

Originally Posted by trplnkl

I feel that all and any remarks about why or how things got to the point they did are irrelevant in this thread.

I think trplnkl's advice is invaluable especially condering these circumstances. Thanks!

[big_arrow_up]

Originally Posted by tonyexpress

I think trplnkl's advice is invaluable especially condering these circumstances. Thanks!

I don't agree. Now is the perfect time to shed some light on the circumstances that lead to the suicide. We all need to need to learn from these mistakes (circumstances) so things like this don't happen again. Besides......even the wife has mentioned the cicumstances.

[stevetheupsguy]

Thinking about this thread as I drove today. What came to mind is I don't think getting fired from UPS had all that much to do with his suicide. This guy must have been in turmoil for quite sometime to make such a drastic choice. I feel bad that he couldn't share his anguish before it overtook him. I also feel bad that he left behind his wife with the huge question of why.

May God help you through your time of sorrow, anger and recovery.

[govols019]

Originally Posted by skid mark

He may have had a customer complaint, but then they followed him. If you know about the customer complaint then you know the relationship between Jim and ******. ****** did not like Jim and they constantly had words. No Jim was not perfect but he did not deserve what happened to him that day or the harrashment he received over the years.

I, by no means, meant he deserved what happened to him. I was just surprised about the news that they followed him. I am sorry if you took that as meaning any kind of disrespect. That was never my intention.

[tonyexpress]

Originally Posted by big_arrow_up

I don't agree. Now is the perfect time to shed some light on the circumstances that lead to the suicide. We all need to need to learn from these mistakes (circumstances) so things like this don't happen again. Besides......even the wife has mentioned the cicumstances.

NO it's not the perfect time to lay blame anywhere!!

The purpose of this thread is to give support to a grieving widow not fulfill your need to go after anyone. What happened to Jim is very sad for his family and the choice Jim made and why he made has left with him.

Leave at that and if you want to discuss management and hourly relationships you can open a new thread because it's not happening here!!

[old brown shoe]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and will pray for all the freinds and family he left behind. Be strong and remember time helps heal. Keep in contact on bc

[satellitedriver]

Originally Posted by trplnkl

I feel that all and any remarks about why or how things got to the point they did are irrelevant in this thread.

I could not agree more.

[dilligaf]

Originally Posted by trplnkl

I feel that all and any remarks about why or how things got to the point they did are irrelevant in this thread.

Originally Posted by LiL"Comet"

Yes well said!!

Originally Posted by tonyexpress

I think trplnkl's advice is invaluable especially condering these circumstances. Thanks!

Originally Posted by tonyexpress

NO it's not the perfect time to lay blame anywhere!!

The purpose of this thread is to give support to a grieving widow not fulfill your need to go after anyone. What happened to Jim is very sad for his family and the choice Jim made and why he made has left with him.

Leave at that and if you want to discuss management and hourly relationships you can open a new thread because it's not happening here!!

Originally Posted by satellitedriver

I could not agree more.

Is it sinking in yet?

[chev]

Janice,
Just a little note to say you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

[skid mark]

Thank you Chev........

[dannyboy]

janice

is there anything we can do to help you through tomorrow?

or if there is anything you need help with over the next few weeks, let us know.

d

[big_arrow_up]

Originally Posted by tonyexpress

NO it's not the perfect time to lay blame anywhere!!

The purpose of this thread is to give support to a grieving widow not fulfill your need to go after anyone. What happened to Jim is very sad for his family and the choice Jim made and why he made has left with him.

Leave at that and if you want to discuss management and hourly relationships you can open a new thread because it's not happening here!!

Thats your opinion. What we discuss here is determined by the thread starter and anyone else that wants to chime in. Not just you. And I seem to recall the thread starter mentioning the center manager and since she started the thread I'd say it was fair of me to mention the manager as well. Besides......it's important to not only support the widow but to find out why things like this happen so that we can prevent them from happening again. She brought the details to the table. I offered my opinion on them. If she doesnt mention the cicumstances again then I won't but another poster shouldn't determine the outcome of this thread.

[dannyboy]

mistakes are made each and every day. by both sides. thank God it is rare at ups that it goes far enough to involve a death.

one thing i do know........after spending your adult lifetime at ups, it becomes a huge part of you. bleeding brown is just one small pointer as to how huge that part is. it is a part of who you are.

when you retire, that is one thing. when you get fired, it really messes with your self image, a real blow. and sometimes, when the driver balls up and can/will not speak to anyone about it, bad things can happen.

jim in this case was able to hide that fact from everyone close to him.

it is truly a tragic death.

d

[skid mark]

In an odd way everyone's input whether I like what it says or not helps me. I finally had a day where I didn't cry. I also had a dream about Jim last night. It wasn't the best dream but it was still about Jim. My mother and I went to his grave and his coffin had not been buried. It was more like a coffin for a mummy. Well when I turned back around there was no coffin but just Jim laying in the dirt. He was buried all except for his head. My mom took and shovel full of dirt and covered his face. That was the whole dream. I had not dreamed since this whole thing has happened and I would dream almost every night. I think this is a big step for me......

[cheryl]

Janice,

My family has also been keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

I found a few links that may be of interest to you:

After a suicide

Survivors of suicide factsheet

Let’s Talk About It: A Primer for When Someone You Love has Died by Suicide

Suicide survivor support groups in Tennessee

[stevetheupsguy]

Originally Posted by stevetheupsguy

Thinking about this thread as I drove today. What came to mind is I don't think getting fired from UPS had all that much to do with his suicide. This guy must have been in turmoil for quite sometime to make such a drastic choice. I feel bad that he couldn't share his anguish before it overtook him. I also feel bad that he left behind his wife with the huge question of why.

May God help you through your time of sorrow, anger and recovery.

If skidmark himself would have come on here and said he had gotten fired for dishonesty, we would have let him have it, well most of us, anyways. What makes this any different? Is it the fact that he commited suicide? I still believe that there's more to this story. One does not take their own life without having thought about it before, afterall, losing a job at UPS is not the end of the world, no matter how many years you have been here.

Granted, anger and bitterness would abound, but any thought of taking your life, would be fleeting at best. This guy had more issues than what has been stated here. Janice may not have even been aware of his thoughts or the turmoil in his mind.

If skidmarks passing has any benefit, may it be that we search our own minds and ask the questions that we really don't like to ask all that much. Are you okay? Is something bothering you? Would you like to talk? Oft times it's the little things we do that help people to cope better in their lives. I'm not puting blame on anyone here. I'm just saying, now that we have this information, let's put it to good use.

Again, Janice, may God grant your family peace through this troubling time.

[dannyboy]

steve

you ever been fired?

d

[stevetheupsguy]

Hate when people read some great stuff and come back with, I'm too young to understand. Or haven't been here long enough.

So you're telling me that your life would be over if you got fired from UPS?

From the way you post, d, I don't take you as that kind of guy. Besides, this was not a spontaneous decision. mho

[stevetheupsguy]

From a Job? Yeah, and plenty of times at that. But then again, I'm from a different stock than most and know how to land on my feet.

Not trying to have a pissing match with ya, d. Just posted what I thought, in mho. You have the right to disagree, and I'll still think highly of you. No worries from here, brotha.

[dannyboy]

no steve, im talking about getting fired from a job that you have had for 20-30 years. a job that you have given your life too. then couple that with being fired for "dishonesty" of all things. i know what crap it does to your mind. it aint good, any of it.

im glad you are one that no matter how you come flying off the roof, you always land on your feet. i am one of those people as well. my motto in life is that if God has brought me to it, he will see me through it.

but not all people are like you and i. and the long standing issues of work before the firing also played a huge role in this tragedy

as to the conversations to be had between family members, that is a very valid point. but some people dont share a lot of things like that, especially when it comes to being job related.

janice did not know that he had been fired until it was way too late for talk. there was no way she could have known or done anything about it.

as to the rest, there are a lot of details not posted that i will not comment on at this time, its not the time nor the place.

what i will say is that a minute, a word, a contact, any of these could have changed the end results. but they didnt.

d

[brownhorn]

This whole story makes me very sad. I'm not sure if there was something going on prior to skid mark's situation at work that exacerbated his situation, but he had to know that the union could have probably gotten his job back. I've seen guys do a lot worse and they are still employed by UPS. I wish someone (his steward, business agent) could have counseled him on his situation and let him know that he wasn't out of a job just yet. Janice, I admire your strength in coming on here and posting about your loss and coping with it. You will be in all our prayers, and we are all so sorry for what has happened to you and your family.

[CRASH501]

Wow after reading all of this i am truly speechless.
.
I have 7 years at big brown and there are times i love my job but not too many , for the most part i hate the long hours and little appreciation for all we do from management. After all its only about our numbers and what we can do for brown , not what can brown do for you , with not knowing jim it truly sounds like this man enjoyed his job and was devestated by his termination..... How many times have you been told " i dont care how you do it but no late airs or no missed pcs " we all know what is meant. But to be terminated for doing what you are taught is plain bullsh...
.
Janice all i can say is im sorry for your loss .
.
Please be strong.
.
And keep your head held high...........

[King Of Queens]

I am so sorry to hear this happenend. I hope and wish the best for his family. RIP James

[chev]

Originally Posted by dannyboy

no steve, im talking about getting fired from a job that you have had for 20-30 years. a job that you have given your life too. then couple that with being fired for "dishonesty" of all things. i know what crap it does to your mind. it aint good, any of it.

d

I really have to agree from my point of view. I happen to be one of those type that have trouble dealing with change. Especially forced change. Putting the dishonesty charge on top would really mess with me too.
As much as I hate going to work some days, I honestly like my job. It is who I am now. It's too big a part of my life. Not to say I "bleed brown", but I have been here more than half of my life. I know I could move on but I would have a tough time letting that go completely.
Everyone deals with life issues differently. Some are very good at hiding it even from the people they are nearest to.

[dilligaf]

I agree with Daniel and Chev. It can be very devastating to lose a job that you have dedicated your life to. I lost a job several years back that I loved. I had no idea it was coming either. I was a wreck for weeks. Thank god I had a good support system. I know that I could never have done what Jim did but without the support it would have taken me alot longer to recover from this. I have chosen to make UPS a career and have no intention of going elsewhere. Knowing this, if for some reason I should be terminated in the future, I know it will be just as hard to deal with. I know what it's like to be fired for dishonesty. BTDT.

Janice, based on Daniels post, you are talking to him. You couldn't be in more capable hands. Keep talking! To friends and family, to whomever. Welcome to the Brownshed.

Steve, maybe you are right in that if Skid Mark had come in here and told us what happened, maybe we would have let him 'have it'. Maybe that would have been the wrong thing to do. It doesn't matter because he didn't. And in this case hindsight is not 20-20. In the state of mind that he, apparently, was in maybe someone would have said the wrong thing. There are those that can sometimes be pretty brutal.

MAYBE YES, MAYBE NO