Where do the numbers to and is it purple monkey dishwasher?

[Mike23]

So what happens to the numbers? Where do they come from? Where do they go? Who looks at them? How messed up do they get when they reach the top? Do the people that get the numbers actually KNOW what they're for? Do the people at the top really care or just pick out a few random numbers and go, 'here, discipline these people, ignore the rest'? Do the numbers people really exist or are they like the bogeyman and a figment of our imaginations and it's actually just random numbers spewed out of a central computer that the inventor died years ago and nobody knows how to update the software?

[jds4lunch]

The only numbers that matter to me when I look at the daily reports is the number of hours I got paid for. The rest of it isn't worth the paper its printed on as far as I'm concerned.

[helenofcalifornia]

The numbers always are subject to change. The maximum/minimum stop counts are the ones that are the most fluid in our center. One day the min. is 130, the next day 152. Gotta be light on your feet around here, nothing stays the same. The people that hold on to the past standards are the ones that are the most unhappy. Just do what they ask you in whatever time you safely can. So what if you are an hour or two or three over, you do what they ask. Your time will vary too. Light on your feet, UPS!

[jimstud]

the numbers don't mean crap as long as you follow their methods and work to the best of your ability.

[hurricanegunner]

Originally Posted by jds4lunch

The only numbers that matter to me when I look at the daily reports is the number of hours I got paid for. The rest of it isn't worth the paper its printed on as far as I'm concerned.

Well, we do get a kick out of standing around the daily report chuckling at yesterday's numbers.
It's always good to start the day with a smile.

[soberups]

The process is complicated, but basically speaking it starts with a room full of monkeys that each have 6 dice.

It also factors in the phase of the moon, the relative humidity, and the boiling point of pure nitrogen on Tuedays in Enid, Oklahoma.

Some IE guy then takes these figures and combines them in an algorythm with the total weight of his own belly-button lint and divides the result by his wifes bra size.

There are more calculations, but they are top secret and if I told you I would then have to kill you.

[tourists24]

and of course no one has answered the question on what type of person the numbers actually come from.... Is this based on a 5'11 male who weighs 180 lbs and is 28 years old? Does this mean that someone 5'0 tall gets extra time on their route allowance? And that someone 6'4 whose stride is much longer gets less time?

[brownIEman]

Originally Posted by tourists24

and of course no one has answered the question on what type of person the numbers actually come from.... Is this based on a 5'11 male who weighs 180 lbs and is 28 years old? Does this mean that someone 5'0 tall gets extra time on their route allowance? And that someone 6'4 whose stride is much longer gets less time?

The time allowances are not based on one type of person, they were developed through observations of thousands of different drivers of all stripes.

However, I would keep ideas like this to myself where I you. You know full well if IE got ahold of this idea, there would indeed be a lower allowance given to the 6'4 dude, but some how the added time for the 4'0 driver would not be forth coming.

[tourists24]

Originally Posted by brownIEman

The time allowances are not based on one type of person, they were developed through observations of thousands of different drivers of all stripes.

However, I would keep ideas like this to myself where I you. You know full well if IE got ahold of this idea, there would indeed be a lower allowance given to the 6'4 dude, but some how the added time for the 4'0 driver would not be forth coming.

So these numbers are just an average from all different kinds of people? How is this accurate? That is unless you fall just perfect into that average. Makes that 95% accuracy seem a little fishy

[Mike23]

I say next contract we strike until we get clarification on the numbers ... oh, wait, never mind because we'd never work again then!

[bigbrownhen]

Originally Posted by soberups

The process is complicated, but basically speaking it starts with a room full of monkeys that each have 6 dice.

It also factors in the phase of the moon, the relative humidity, and the boiling point of pure nitrogen on Tuedays in Enid, Oklahoma.

Some IE guy then takes these figures and combines them in an algorythm with the total weight of his own belly-button lint and divides the result by his wifes bra size.

There are more calculations, but they are top secret and if I told you I would then have to kill you.

Oh that was too funny Sober, thanks for the giggle.

[Hoaxster]

Originally Posted by tourists24

... And that someone 6'4 whose stride is much longer gets less time?

Close but we did studies that indicated that the inseam length is a better measure. That is why you are measured for inseam length even though all you may order is shorts.

[wornoutupser]

Hoax,
Is that why the shorts got longer last spring?

[Hoaxster]

Originally Posted by wornoutupser

Hoax,
Is that why the shorts got longer last spring?

Except for Big Babooba ...in his case it was to prevent indecent exposure.

[ol'browneye]

Why hasn't anyone asked the obvious question to the OP- "What in the world does the title of this thread mean?"

[Mike23]

Originally Posted by ol'browneye

Why hasn't anyone asked the obvious question to the OP- "What in the world does the title of this thread mean?"

I was drunk! I meant 'where do the numbers go and is it purple monkey dishwasher?' As in does the numbers go from 1 - 100 when they're whispered in someone else' ear...you know, like the game you played as a kid, 'telephone' where you make up a sentence and whisper it to someone else once and it works its way down the line but then it ends up completely FUBAR at the end?

[Baba gounj]

the answer is 42.

[Hoaxster]

Originally Posted by ol'browneye

Why hasn't anyone asked the obvious question to the OP- "What in the world does the title of this thread mean?"

Originally Posted by Mike23

I was drunk!

Obvious answer (or the cat typed it).

[City Driver]

the only numbers that matter to me are printed on my paycheck

[NHDRVR]

Our theory is that there is a secret room that holds the "real" numbers. You know the ones...

The actual true/real numbers of what a route is supposed to be.

The damn room is hidden at Hogwarts. You grab a cart and run at belt 4 in our center. Aim for the corner and 'poof', you're there...

[Dustyroads]

When I started driving, the operation report was done by hand, on paper, every night, or actually in the wee hours of the morning by a clerk named Jim M*****. Funny thing, he was an hourly employee, not a member of management. He did them all on this huge spread sheet. Every morning, a tally sheet was posted at the turn in area. At that time there were no computers at all in our building.

When the operation reports became computerized, Jim decided to become a driver and bid on an area, working it for a couple years. He and the management team never got along, and after awhile he left the company.

[City Driver]

Originally Posted by Dustyroads

When I started driving, the operation report was done by hand, on paper, every night, or actually in the wee hours of the morning by a clerk named Jim M*******. Funny thing, he was an hourly employee, not a member of management. He did them all on this huge spread sheet. Every morning, a tally sheet was posted at the turn in area. At that time there were no computers at all in our building.

When the operation reports became computerized, Jim decided to become a driver and bid on an area, working it for a couple years. He and the management team never got along, and after awhile he left the company.

jim morrison?

[Dustyroads]

Funny thing about the guy, when he was in his probationary period for driving, he managed to run under-allowed the first five days he was out on the street by himself. Everyone in our building, drivers and management alike, suspected that he knew too much about the figures and allowances for his own good.

[UpstateNYUPSer]

Originally Posted by City Driver

jim morrison?

It's ironic you mentioned Jim Morrison--did you know he was once arrested for public urination?

[City Driver]

im all for legalization to be honest

let us be free