Denver broncos purchased by ups? - Brown Cafe

purplesky · 10-11-2009, 02:11 PM

WOW,
It looks like the Denver Broncos have been purchased by UPS. They are wearing UPS uniforms today against the Patriots.

I wonder how much those Denver Bronco UPS socks cost?

MonavieLeaker · 10-11-2009, 02:27 PM

Does Cutler get progressive discipline for throwing too many INT's?

purplesky · 10-11-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonavieLeaker

Does Orton get progressive discipline for excessive int's?

HE WILL HAVE A OJS IN THE SECOND HALF.

soberups · 10-11-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplesky

WOW,
It looks like the Denver Broncos have been purchased by UPS. They are wearing UPS uniforms today against the Patriots.

I wonder how much those Denver Bronco UPS socks cost?

The plays will undoubtedly be called by an IE guy in a little room someplace who is watching the game on a monitor. The fact that he never played the game himself and has never set foot in the stadium will not stop him from managing every aspect of the game...right down to calling every play, dictating every snap count, and measuring exactly how much tape each player is allowed to wear on his ankle. The plays he calls will be the same whether it is 95 degrees outside or a subzero blizzard. And even if the game plan is failing, the coach on the field will not be allowed to change it.

Bubblehead · 10-11-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonavieLeaker

Does Cutler get progressive discipline for throwing too many INT's?

Cutler plays for the Bears this year.

Bubblehead · 10-11-2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soberups

The plays will undoubtedly be called by an IE guy in a little room someplace who is watching the game on a monitor. The fact that he never played the game himself and has never set foot in the stadium will not stop him from managing every aspect of the game...right down to calling every play, dictating every snap count, and measuring exactly how much tape each player is allowed to wear on his ankle. The plays he calls will be the same whether it is 95 degrees outside or a subzero blizzard. And even if the game plan is failing, the coach on the field will not be allowed to change it.

You are "Johnny On The Spot".
I for one love it.
Another great analogy.
Pretzel Man is undoubtedly close behind for the the company line rebuttal.

MonavieLeaker · 10-11-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubblehead

Cutler plays for the Bears this year.

Realized that after I posted it

cachsux · 10-11-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubblehead

Cutler plays for the Bears this year.

Thats open for debate.

hurricanegunner · 10-11-2009, 05:14 PM

I can just see it now:
The 10 keys to touchdowns.
The 10 keys to avoiding fumbles.
The 8 keys to pass receptions.
The 5 keys to good defense.
The 10 yard commentary.
Every driver on the team will be required to memorize said keys. Should they fail to do so, they will be taken off the field during games and forced to wash the active duty players jocks, until such time as they memorize said keys.

pickup · 10-11-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soberups

The plays will undoubtedly be called by an IE guy in a little room someplace who is watching the game on a monitor. The fact that he never played the game himself and has never set foot in the stadium will not stop him from managing every aspect of the game...right down to calling every play, dictating every snap count, and measuring exactly how much tape each player is allowed to wear on his ankle. The plays he calls will be the same whether it is 95 degrees outside or a subzero blizzard. And even if the game plan is failing, the coach on the field will not be allowed to change it.

and if the flavor of the month is yards per carry. They will execute running plays when they need to pass to score. The opposing defense will gladly give up 6 yards for a running play as opposed to a touchdown on a long pass and ups will lose the game as time expires. But the average yards per carry will pass a criterion set by i.e. and the "numbers" will be met. (but the game will be lost)

pickup · 10-11-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplesky

WOW,
It looks like the Denver Broncos have been purchased by UPS. They are wearing UPS uniforms today against the Patriots.

I wonder how much those Denver Bronco UPS socks cost?

If UPS did buy a football team, no quarterback would be deemed adequate. Brady, Unitas, Montana, none of them could thrive under that system.

UPS: "Hey Montana , what was with that interception???"

Montana " Big deal, we won 38-3 and I had 4 touchdowns"

UPS " That is irrelevant, interceptions are not allowable. One is one too many, if this happens again, we will have to suspend you!"

Montana " Grumblleeeeee"

Joe Theisman would have been deemed a malingerer after his career ending injury.

MechanicForBrown · 10-11-2009, 05:33 PM

Better not have, they just gave us Patriots a whoopin

pickup · 10-11-2009, 05:44 PM

All running backs would be required to run a straight line up the middle No weaving , no deviating from that straight line.

purplesky · 10-11-2009, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MechanicForBrown

Better not have, they just gave us Patriots a whoopin

I guess the Broncos are for real after all. I had my doubts but if they beat the Chargers they should be playoff bound. Although it is early to make predictions.

danlin · 10-11-2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplesky

I guess the Broncos are for real after all. I had my doubts but if they beat the Chargers they should be playoff bound. Although it is early to make predictions.

It is a bit early for predictions...but even I figured they would have at least one loss by now.

soberups · 10-11-2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pickup

and if the flavor of the month is yards per carry. They will execute running plays when they need to pass to score. The opposing defense will gladly give up 6 yards for a running play as opposed to a touchdown on a long pass and ups will lose the game as time expires. But the average yards per carry will pass a criterion set by i.e. and the "numbers" will be met. (but the game will be lost)

And in order to save money, IE will only allow them to have 8 or 9 men on the field at one time except during the 4th quarter when they will have 10.

hurricanegunner · 10-11-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pickup

If UPS did buy a football team, no quarterback would be deemed adequate. Brady, Unitas, Montana, none of them could thrive under that system.

UPS: "Hey Montana , what was with that interception???"

Montana " Big deal, we won 38-3 and I had 4 touchdowns"

UPS " That is irrelevant, interceptions are not allowable. One is one too many, if this happens again, we will have to suspend you!"

Montana " Grumblleeeeee"

Joe Theisman would have been deemed a malingerer after his career ending injury.

They would have said Joe Theisman's injury was avoidable because he failed to observe the 10 keys to avoiding broken legs whilst standing in the pocket.

BLACKBOX · 10-11-2009, 07:12 PM

I'm sure I'd like to see those 6'6" 320 lb mansters get into a sprinter and deliver air.

atatbl · 10-11-2009, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cachsux

Thats open for debate.

lol

well played

pickup · 10-11-2009, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soberups

And in order to save money, IE will only allow them to have 8 or 9 men on the field at one time except during the 4th quarter when they will have 10.

oh we could go on with this theme forever. And the remaining guys on the bench will have to go home without pay.

JustTired · 10-12-2009, 04:53 AM

Due to improper game planning, assistant coaches will have to suit up and take the field. Even though they haven't played the game in years.

There's a limit on the number of plays to the left.

If behind, you might have to play through half-time to make up the difference.

Hey...this is kinda fun!

hurricanegunner · 10-12-2009, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTired

Due to improper game planning, assistant coaches will have to suit up and take the field. Even though they haven't played the game in years.

There's a limit on the number of plays to the left.

If behind, you might have to play through half-time to make up the difference.

Hey...this is kinda fun!

But the assistant coaches get to use helpers because they can't do the work by themselves.