# An ugly prediction that you can hold me to...

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by soberups, Nov 14, 2009.

1. ### soberupsPees in the brown Koolaid

I am predicting right now that my building will have many hundreds, if not thousands, of service failures on Christmas eve.

I will update this post on Christmas eve. I'd really like to be proven wrong, and if I am wrong I will be quite happy to man up and admit it.

Our "plan" for peak...as dreamed up by the brain trust from Operations and I.E....calls for my building to hire no peak season drivers and rent no vehicles this year. Instead...we will have up to ten of our seniority drivers being used as helpers or...get this....making deliveries on mountain bikes towing trailers.

Thats right...instead of a 16' Uhaul rental truck, we will have a guy on a bicycle.

We bought these bikes and trailers last year, but never really used them because we got hit with the worst snowstorm in 60 years during the last 2 weeks of December. Even with no snow the "plan" was a joke; the college-educated idiot from IE who sat at his computer and calculated the "best" areas to use the bikes (based upon stop density) failed to factor in the existence of hills.

Assuming that we get no snow...we will still have experienced, seniority drivers pedalling around on mountain bikes in the pouring rain on wet leaves in the dark. It gets pitch black around here by 4:45 during peak, and it usually rains every day if it isnt snowing. This morning it was 31 degrees outside and my driveway was icy. This region is simply unsuitable, due to climate and topography, for using mountain bikes as delivery vehicles.

The "plan" also overlooks basic geometry. Basic geometry teaches us that 1700 cubic feet of delivery volume and 1900 cubic feet of pickup volume cannot be contained in a 1000 cubic foot vehicle. Giving the driver of that vehicle a "helper" on a bicycle with a 10 cubic foot trailer will do nothing to solve this underlying problem.

As near as I can figure, IE's "plan" pretty much consists of...."if we pretend hard enough, dreams really do come true". Wishful thinking and denial are poor ways to make important business decisions.

I have brought my concerns to the attention of my management team, and they pretty much get a sick look on their faces and mumble something about "volume being down" and "needing to cut costs". The plan is being shoved down their throats; they know it is totally divorced from reality; but like lemmings they must blindly follow that plan to the bitter end, right off of the cliff.

This whole thing would be morbidly funny...if I werent in the middle of it.

Its peak season. Its cold and dark and wet and I am going to bust my ass for 12 or 13 or 14 hours straight. I'm OK with all that, its part of the job. but is is frustrating and demoralizing to know that I will be bringing many tens if not hundreds of stops back at the end of that 14 hours.

Once again...I hope to God I am wrong about all this and I am looking forward to admitting that fact here. I would like nothing more than to wrap it up "clean" on Christmas eve. I dont think that is going to happen though.

2. ### feederdriver06former monkey slave

O M F G driver. . . .mountain bikes?? You probably will be right about the service failures. I hope you survive your peak season without the help of a straight jacket.

Peak season is the time of year I appreciate being a feeder driver the most. Peak will have very little or no affect on my job. Just nightly business as usual .

3. ### cachsuxWah

What are the guidelines for the mountain bike users? If they were to stop and get a breather from all that pedaling, how would that be viewed? As a break,stealing times,etc? Also what are the plans for the first one to have a heart attack?

4. ### OldUPSDriverNew Member

Will the bikes have 3 point seat belts??

5. ### JimJimmyJamesBig Time Feeder Driver

I have zero peak stress anymore .

On the other hand, I do feel for all those whose lives are going to be hell for the next month and half .

I wonder if the bikes are painted brown with the company logo on it. How about the trailer, is that painted gray? Hehe, a human powered feeder!

6. ### HangingonNew Member

Think of the money you'll save by canceling your health club membership.

7. ### Mr.GreyNew Member

Please post picks of this .

also i would wear the shorts durring drop off , why look stupid only half assed i like the whole assed way. maybe brown biker shorts . oh and use lights on the for "safty "reasons and to make sure every has the ability to laugh their ass off and brighten their day. you are right this is funny as hell . just remember work as told and then service failure is managements problem . just remember who else get to spend their days riding a bike durring work hours and still get paid , you are so lucky

8. ### over9fiveModeratorStaff Member

We tried the mountain bikes some years ago. They would work out of "pods" set up on route somewhere (Those little storage bins). The PC driver would leave a whole area in the pod with a DIAD each morning. The bike rider would report to, and work from, the pod each day.

I recall this as a horrible failure for the reasons Sober mentioned. I don't believe it was ever tried again here after the first catastrophe.

9. ### abc123New Member

Who/what prevented packages from being stolen from the pods?

11. ### over9fiveModeratorStaff Member

Yup! Not just the packages, but the bike and wagon were kept there overnight.

12. ### dilligafIN VINO VERITAS

Sober, I can see something like you have described being used in Phoenix. The altitude variance in Phoenix in 30 miles in any given direction is probably something like 10 feet. It would make sense to do this there. For you guys.................... what a bunch of idiots. Deary, I would not bet against you. I think you are going to have a worse X-mas this year than you did last year. That is, if they follow thru with this plan.

13. ### Dis-organized LaborGuest

I think using those Mormon kids that are already buffed up from pedaling a million mile would be a good idea

Seriously though, someone needs a brain scan for that decision.

What would Klein do????????

14. ### dilligafIN VINO VERITAS

OOOOH PLEASE!!!!!!!!! Don't ask that. We all know what Klein would do. He would go across the street to the closest bar.

15. ### Dis-organized LaborGuest

...and the problem is??????

16. ### brownrodsterNew Member

Why even bother speaking your mind to management? There is a snowball's chance in hell that anything you say will matter to them.

Peak is my favorite time of the year. I love all the mayhem and catastrophe that is happening all around me. I get to see the most spectacular train reck happen every day. It's quite entertaining and exciting. Management all grow beards because they don't leave the building for days.

And I always score some 100% residential route with 250 stops. Total cakewalk. My favorite routes are peak resi routes.

for some reason I would love it if they tried such a ridiculous plan in my center. The entertainment value is priceless.

17. ### trouble makerMember

These idiots that come up with ideas like this were never PC drivers. They should lead by example and "brown up" and try it themselves. My building canceled their driver class for the holiday also. Now they are expecting to bring in between 50 to 55 helpers. Pay rate will be \$9.00 an hour. My guess is that they get 35 to 40 helpers and and 10 to 15 quit after the first week.

18. ### dilligafIN VINO VERITAS

I guess it all depends on if you want to keep your job or not.

19. ### Dis-organized LaborGuest

Oh! I thought we were talking "off the clock", but looking back at the OP, I think the decision-makers may have to/ have been in the bar...

Lasted edited by : Nov 14, 2009
20. ### dilligafIN VINO VERITAS

Me personally, I would wait til I was off the clock. Can't say the same for others!