Athletes

moreluck

golden ticket member
Subject: Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs !
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model



"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."



2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:


"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."



3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:


"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"


Matt Millen of the Raiders said:

"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."



4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:


"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."



5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:


"Nobody in football should be called a genius.

A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."



6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:


"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)



7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:


"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."

And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."



8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:


"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three

years, not Princeton."



9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:


"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."



10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight

Andrew Golota:


"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."



11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano

why he appeared nervous at practice:


"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)



12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:


"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"



13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four friend's and one D:


"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."



14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:


"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."



15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes

his wife on all the road trips,


Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."
 
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