Castaway Part 2

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by thedownhillEXPRESS, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    What would the sequel be like?

    A few ideas-

    Tom Hanks wakes up discovering his rescue was just a dream.

    It takes until present day for him to be discovered.

    He is greeted less than warmly back in Memphis, actually receiving a letter for "preventable injuries" incured in the plane crash.
    As the weeks go by he receives a bill for $ 53,000.47 claiming his helicopter evacuation was not pre-authorized before his rescue.
    He also finds out he had better dental coverage on the island.
    As the movie goes on he becomes more depressed when he discovers legal wont let him deliver the package he has been holding on to for all these years, and then has to ship it via Home Delivery because Express doesn't do rural areas anymore.(coming soon).

    The ending is rather sad as he gets run over by the Ground guy who also mis delivered his package, the same Ground guy who robbed his ex wife in 2003.


    Figure out a way to put in some explosions and Samuel L. Jackson, Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman as the narrator and I would totally watch this.

    I really like the realistic aspect of his getting a posthumous letter for injuries in a freaking plane crash!...lmao!!
  3. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    The champagne and caviar at the welcome home party have been replaced with kool aid and Costco hot dogs.
  4. Route 66

    Route 66 Bent Member

    He doesn't even have a job at FedEx anymore because he was out more than 90 days.
  5. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    He got run over because he was trying to cross a busy street when suddenly a new Walmart delivery service van with a big smiley face drove by. He stopped in the street and said "Wilson?"
  6. ManInBrown

    ManInBrown Well-Known Member

  7. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Tom Hanks and the entire DRA Team are invited to accompany MT3, Fred, and Dave to celebrate the arrival of Matt's new Gulfstream G650 Executive Jet. At the last minute, they invite Mary Alice Taylor to come out of retirement and join them. Destination? The same island where Hanks filmed the original Castaway.

    Unfortunately, the DRA Team is tasked with navigation duties, so they end-up over 1,000 miles away from their intended destination. The Gulfstream runs out of fuel and has to ditch in the water off another uncharted island. Thankfully, they all survive, but Taylor's makeup case had to be left behind when the jet sank. Horrified by the sight of Medusa, several survivors go blind before they place a sack over Mary's face.

    The DRA Team plans for their rescue, but everyone is looking for them 1,000 miles away and they have zero hope of being found. Immediately, Smith appoints himself Emperor of the island and enslaves everyone to serve his needs. In fact, it takes 12 years for any of them to be discovered, and the only reason one of them is found is that Hanks cobbles together a raft out of stacks of $100 bills that washed ashore from the Gulfstream and makes it out into the shipping lanes.

    When asked about the other survivors, Hanks says that they were all "lost in the crash". In the meantime, Fred Smith is convicted in absentia of gross campaign finance violations, and several Senators and Congressmen are sent to prison. Without Smith, Express gets reclassified under the NLRA and immediately goes union. The company quickly returns to profitability as competent management is installed and morale soars. The Ground scam is found to be illegal, and several judges go to prison for being on Smith's illegal payroll. Another conviction for Smith, who will have to serve 99 years if he ever returns to civilization.

    In the meantime, the DRA Team has cobbled-together a transmitter from the plane wreckage and a box of electronic parts that floated ashore. They are sending an S-O-S that indicates they are somewhere off the coast of Greenland.
  9. texan

    texan Well-Known Member

    One thing that has always preplexed me.

    UPS use to be or seems currently somewhat conservative.

    Yet they have union.

    FDX has always been anti-union.

    Why did Hollywood (which is left and union) choose FDX for the film?

    It has always made me wonder.

    By the way, I should make one of my "cartoons" about this above:


  10. texan

    texan Well-Known Member


    Make me a script you would like to see, I could make a movie for all of you.
  11. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    ​I was thinking that some of the world's richest people went on a 3 hr tour with a local skipper and his little buddy.
  12. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    You have alot to work with between my original post and MFE's.

    Could go viral if you hit this one right.


    He realizes Ground is a better deal than Express and goes to work for bbsam where he gets way better pay, lunch breaks and full benefits.
  14. Doc Sorting Dude

    Doc Sorting Dude Active Member

    The Castaway Part Duh will be an animated version featuring pandas as Express workers. The voice overs will be Cheech and Chong (they're still alive right?).
  15. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Not in this lifetime.
  16. Route 66

    Route 66 Bent Member

    probably because Fred fell all over himself to accommodate the producers, offering carte blanche use of all resources as well as free sippy cups from the company store for all film crewmembers, viewing it as one long FedEx commercial to captive audiences (plus he got a cameo in it).

    And UPS didn't

    just my theory
  17. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    From what I have heard UPS was approached first but declined.
  18. Operational needs

    Operational needs Non desistas. Non exieras.

    And Fred being who he is gladly accepted. He is one to NEVER pass up an opportunity for self promotion. I think the only person whose ego comes even close to his is Donald Trump.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2013
  19. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    I enjoyed the 2 hour FedEx commercial.
  20. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    I saw Cheech Marin on Paula Deens cooking show the other day. He is still alive but no longer cool.