Congresional Hearings - David & Goliath

Livin the Dream?

Disillusioned UPSer
REUTERS: - A federal hearing was announced today that will begin on April 30th for the investigation of David for using "Unfair" practices against his closest competitor, Goliath.

Goliath has, for centuries, claimed "unfair, cheating" practices used by David in his classic battle over Goliath. Goliath claims that using rocks, slings, should have been covered under OSHA guidelines, as well as outlined in the federal "fair titan slaying act" of 3454 BC, and that proper notification for use was not submitted to authorities.

Spokesman for Goliath state "It just isn't fair - It should be a level playing field. We had slings & rocks as well, we just never thought to use them. Therefore, David should be punished or, at the very least, there should be a do-over"

A law firm representing David has advised that they will cancel all future orders for rocks should this "do-over" be authorized.

The supplier for the rocks has thusfar been un-named. However, filed in Federal court yesterday by representatives of Goliath confirms a $6.8 billion lawsuit against the rock manufacturer, Whammo, for improper labeling.
 
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