MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Effective immediately, FedEx drivers will be required to pay for the fuel they use each day. This will save the company an estimated $90M in fuel costs annually. In conjunction with hours cuts, reductions in insurance coverage, and increased employee health care contributions, this will go a long way toward achieving the $1.7B in savings announced by FedEx Chairman Fred S.
In addition, FedEx is requiring drivers to pay for vehicle maintenance. Mr. Smith will also assess a "wear and tear" charge on each vehicle to cover expenses like tire and brake replacement, vehicle cleaning, and routine maintenance items. Employees can choose to wash their vehicles on their own time at their own expense after work hours. FedEx will not provide water, soap, or cleaning supplies. This move will save FedEx an estimated $20M per year in costs.
Effective immediately, employees must supply their own toilet paper and personal hygiene supplies. This includes paper towels, hand soap, and water. All employees will be assessed a monthly facilities charge to cover heating, lighting, and janitorial costs. This will save the company an estimated $10M in costs. Time spent performing bodily functions is now unpaid time, and must be recorded on the timecard or PowerPad. Code 101 for urination, Code 201 for defecation. If you do both at the same time, it is a code 301. Strict auditing procedures will be imposed, and the Gatekeeper will be tasked with additional bathroom monitoring tasks.
Also being considered, but not yet implemented is an air fee, which will charge employees for the air they breathe while on FedEx property. All employees will wear a monitoring device which measures their air use while on FedEx property.
Thank you for your cooperation, and Bravo Zulu. Fedex Cares.
In addition, FedEx is requiring drivers to pay for vehicle maintenance. Mr. Smith will also assess a "wear and tear" charge on each vehicle to cover expenses like tire and brake replacement, vehicle cleaning, and routine maintenance items. Employees can choose to wash their vehicles on their own time at their own expense after work hours. FedEx will not provide water, soap, or cleaning supplies. This move will save FedEx an estimated $20M per year in costs.
Effective immediately, employees must supply their own toilet paper and personal hygiene supplies. This includes paper towels, hand soap, and water. All employees will be assessed a monthly facilities charge to cover heating, lighting, and janitorial costs. This will save the company an estimated $10M in costs. Time spent performing bodily functions is now unpaid time, and must be recorded on the timecard or PowerPad. Code 101 for urination, Code 201 for defecation. If you do both at the same time, it is a code 301. Strict auditing procedures will be imposed, and the Gatekeeper will be tasked with additional bathroom monitoring tasks.
Also being considered, but not yet implemented is an air fee, which will charge employees for the air they breathe while on FedEx property. All employees will wear a monitoring device which measures their air use while on FedEx property.
Thank you for your cooperation, and Bravo Zulu. Fedex Cares.