From The Chairman: A Peak Message

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Dear Team Members,

Bravo Zulu, and thanks for everything you do to fulfill the Purple Promise. Actually, nobody is living the Purple Promise any longer, and I'm pissed, because I am so damned good to all of you, and you just go out there and give me 100% instead of 150%. That's my potential profit you are losing, and I DEMAND that you work harder and faster all the time.

We don't send "From The Chairman" in the mail any longer because I was told most of you either throw it out, use it as a bird cage liner, or criticize the message I'm trying to convey to you. That's wrong, and unacceptable conduct. Anyone found desecrating any of my memos will be terminated on-the-spot.

You see, I'm a business genius, and you are not. You are just the hired help, and let me remind you again just how lucky you are to work for FedEx. I buy you new vans, give the pilots new planes, and then you whine to me that you're underpaid and have bad benefits. That's a lie. We have the highest wages in the industry and our benefits are world-class!! It's true, because I say so.

I'm getting tired of the Express opco not providing me a 20% profit margin, so effective January 1, 2014, we will be reducing wages and benefits so I can attain my goal. Remember, everything I do is for YOU!!

Sincerely,
Frederick W. Smith
 
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