Dear Team Members, Bravo Zulu and thanks again for making me so filthy rich. The pilots are also pretty happy with their latest deal. We live like rock stars while you barely scrape by...I LOVE it!! Today's subject is evil unions and everything we do here at FedEx to protect you from them. First, a bit of history on unions. Did you know Jesus was put on the cross by union members? Absolutely true. The Roman Empire? Unions brought it down when they demanded to be paid the same as the gladiators. Later in history, Lenin was the first Teamster, and Mao, Stalin and Hitler were all IBT leaders. The Communist Party, and even ISIS...all UNION. It's well known that North Korea is all-Teamster. Here are some more FACTS about unions. Did you know UPS drivers pay over $600 per month in union dues and that their pension plan only pays out $50 per month upon retirement? They reach top wage in just a few years so they have NOTHING to look forward to. Most retired Teamsters are street people living in tents and cardboard boxes. Union thugs roam organized companies. beating-up workers at random and extorting protection money from them. They follow your kids to school and then blackmail you into paying them off in order that they not be harmed. At FedEx, we protect you from the evils of the Teamsters. I fought hard to get FedEx under the RLA so it would be nearly impossible for them to get their evil hands on my precious employees. Did you know that's why we don't allow outside organizations on FedEx property? If we were to allow in the Pope, for example, then the IBT would say we have to let them in too. NO WAY!!! That's why we have GFT and Open Door instead of Communist Weingarten Rights. Why would you want your shop steward present when you could have a FedEx manager and FedEx Legal instead, looking out for you!! You know, our pilots went union years ago and many of them now regret it. They write to me all the time pleading for less pay, bad schedules, and to eliminate their pensions so they too can go onto the PPA and the same industry-leading benefit plans they you enjoy. So, the next time a union thug is standing outside our parking lot, or when the UPS driver lies to you when he says he makes $34 per hour, remember that they are evil Communist ISIS members who believe in Satan and want to turn your children into Oompa-Loompas and trolls. Sincerely, Frederick W. Smith P.S. The "W" stands for winner, not weasel.