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Full time and Divorce
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<blockquote data-quote="imwell" data-source="post: 1602626" data-attributes="member: 27245"><p>U110, your situation reminds me of myself over 20 years ago. Being “old fashioned and traditional”, I kept going with my marriage, trying to make it work. Four years ago, my wife presented me with divorce papers. She already had other “plans” for her life; there was no changing her mind. At that time, between my 401k and teamster pension, I was well on track to retire in 9 more years if I wanted to. Fast forward to today: half my 401k is gone, a significant portion of my pension is spoken for, house and many other “material” things are gone, and alimony and child support cost me $1259 a month and my child support obligations run well into my 60’s. The possibility of retiring in 5 more years is completely nonexistent.</p><p></p><p>Don’t be “this” me. We all know that hindsight is “20/20”, but if I would have seen the “writing on the wall” during the first few years of our marriage, before kids, the losses: physically, emotionally, mentally, monetarily, ect, would have been insignificant compared to today.</p><p></p><p>Yes, there is more to the story than I can post here. And Yes, there are TWO sides to every story, but the enormous cost remains the same. Trying to hang on to a dysfunctional marriage, and delaying what was “inevitable” came with a staggering cost.</p><p></p><p>There has been some good advice here. I think TOS nails it best in post #26. Rainman, in post #63, has invaluable advice. Mine is just one of MANY possible outcomes if you choose to continue with your marriage. But you need to ask yourself if you are willing to accept this as a possible, and realistic, position you could find yourself in 15, 20 years down the road.</p><p></p><p>Very tough choices. Been there, done it, I get it. My choices came at a VERY high price. I hope that your choices -whatever they may be- will not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="imwell, post: 1602626, member: 27245"] U110, your situation reminds me of myself over 20 years ago. Being “old fashioned and traditional”, I kept going with my marriage, trying to make it work. Four years ago, my wife presented me with divorce papers. She already had other “plans” for her life; there was no changing her mind. At that time, between my 401k and teamster pension, I was well on track to retire in 9 more years if I wanted to. Fast forward to today: half my 401k is gone, a significant portion of my pension is spoken for, house and many other “material” things are gone, and alimony and child support cost me $1259 a month and my child support obligations run well into my 60’s. The possibility of retiring in 5 more years is completely nonexistent. Don’t be “this” me. We all know that hindsight is “20/20”, but if I would have seen the “writing on the wall” during the first few years of our marriage, before kids, the losses: physically, emotionally, mentally, monetarily, ect, would have been insignificant compared to today. Yes, there is more to the story than I can post here. And Yes, there are TWO sides to every story, but the enormous cost remains the same. Trying to hang on to a dysfunctional marriage, and delaying what was “inevitable” came with a staggering cost. There has been some good advice here. I think TOS nails it best in post #26. Rainman, in post #63, has invaluable advice. Mine is just one of MANY possible outcomes if you choose to continue with your marriage. But you need to ask yourself if you are willing to accept this as a possible, and realistic, position you could find yourself in 15, 20 years down the road. Very tough choices. Been there, done it, I get it. My choices came at a VERY high price. I hope that your choices -whatever they may be- will not. [/QUOTE]
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