1) Why do people answer their phone by saying their number? 2) How do you measure the surface area of a cylindrical curve? 3) Did we ever actually land on the Moon? 4) Does anything exist if you can't see it? 5) Is anyone there? 6) If that was a question, is this an answer? 7) Would you be willing to be fed to a giant spider if it would save some planet inhabited by sentient beings of which you've never heard of from destruction? 8) It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for? Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B. He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. 9) Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse * 7 have been arrested for fraud * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks * 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses * 3 have done time for assault * 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit * 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges * 8 have been arrested for shoplifting * 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits * 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year... Can you guess which organization this is? Give up yet? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. 11) If you could be stranded on a desert island with any type of undead, which type would it be? 12) 123 or 789? 13) Will the Mighty Us win the League this season? Thirteen and a half) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 14) Will the Answer to this question be NO? 15) Do you like forks with three metal pokers, or four? 16) Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? 17) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? 18) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed? 19) Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? 20) Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? 21) Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 22) If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor? 23) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 24) Where is question 10? 25) Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 26) How do you feel about spending £1.75 on those little bottles of Evian water now you know that spelling it backwards is Naive? 27) Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 28) Is it true that everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the number 55378008 into a calculator? 29) How much more ridiculous can these questions possibly become?