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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 4274692" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>I got this e-mail today. It had a diferent title, but it may offend some, so I changed it.....</p><p></p><p>On a Sears hairdryer --" Do not use while sleeping."</p><p>(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)</p><p>On a bag of Fritos-- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."</p><p>(the shoplifter special?)</p><p>On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."</p><p>(and that would be???....)</p><p>On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."</p><p>(but, it's just a suggestion.)</p><p>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."</p><p>(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)</p><p>On Marks & Spencer BreadPudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."</p><p>(...and you thought????...)</p><p>On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."</p><p>(but wouldn't this save me time?)</p><p>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."</p><p>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)</p><p>On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning:May cause drowsiness." </p><p>(...I'm taking this because???....)</p><p>On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."</p><p>(as opposed to what?)</p><p>On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."</p><p>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)</p><p>On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash)</p><p>On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."</p><p>(Step 3: say what?)</p><p>On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."</p><p>(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)</p><p>On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."</p><p>(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 4274692, member: 1246"] I got this e-mail today. It had a diferent title, but it may offend some, so I changed it..... On a Sears hairdryer --" Do not use while sleeping." (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos-- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer BreadPudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning:May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) [/QUOTE]
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