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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 60161"><p>> My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you </p><p>> happy tonight." </p><p>> He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the </p><p>> doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of </p><p>> the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed </p><p>> the lawn like this?" </p><p>> "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q: What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles? </p><p>> A: Reload and continue shooting. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q: Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease? </p><p>> A: Because it only attacks the brain. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? </p><p>> A: A rumor. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q: A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the </p><p>> happiest woman in the world" </p><p>> A: The woman says, "I'll miss you." </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain? </p><p>> A: Shoot him again. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q. Why does it take 100,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? </p><p>> A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? </p><p>> A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q. How does a man keep his youth? </p><p>> A. By giving her money, diamonds and furs. </p><p>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p>> Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? </p><p>> A. Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" </p><p>> --------------------------------- </p><p>> </p><p>></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 60161"] > My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you > happy tonight." > He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the > doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of > the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed > the lawn like this?" > "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q: What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles? > A: Reload and continue shooting. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q: Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease? > A: Because it only attacks the brain. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? > A: A rumor. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q: A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the > happiest woman in the world" > A: The woman says, "I'll miss you." > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain? > A: Shoot him again. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q. Why does it take 100,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? > A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? > A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q. How does a man keep his youth? > A. By giving her money, diamonds and furs. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > A. Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" > --------------------------------- > > [/QUOTE]
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