Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="law" data-source="post: 61243"><p>2 versions of the same lawyer joke </p><p> </p><p>VERSION 1 </p><p> </p><p> The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: </p><p> </p><p> 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they </p><p> were guilty. </p><p> </p><p> 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. </p><p> </p><p> 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. </p><p> </p><p> 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a </p><p> controversial case. </p><p> </p><p> And the list goes on for quite awhile. </p><p> </p><p> The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these </p><p> things, but argues, "Wait, I've done some charity in my life also." St. </p><p> Peter looks in his book and says,"Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a </p><p> panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?" </p><p> </p><p> The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, "Yes." </p><p> </p><p> St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, </p><p> "Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to Hell." </p><p> </p><p>VERSION 2 </p><p> </p><p>A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter </p><p>asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" </p><p> </p><p>The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a </p><p>homeless person on the street." </p><p> </p><p>Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment </p><p>Gabriel affirmed that this was true. </p><p> </p><p>Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get </p><p>you into Heaven." </p><p> </p><p>The lawyer said, "Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless </p><p>person a quarter." </p><p> </p><p>Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming </p><p>this, too, had been verified. </p><p> </p><p>Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with </p><p>this fellow?" </p><p> </p><p>Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, </p><p>"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="law, post: 61243"] 2 versions of the same lawyer joke VERSION 1 The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. And the list goes on for quite awhile. The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, "Wait, I've done some charity in my life also." St. Peter looks in his book and says,"Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?" The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, "Yes." St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, "Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to Hell." VERSION 2 A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The lawyer said, "Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?" Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
Top