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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1466736" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>The following are humorous messages written on tombstones...enjoy!</p><p></p><p>Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :</p><p>Born 1903--Died 1942.</p><p>Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.</p><p>It was.</p><p></p><p>=============================</p><p></p><p>In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:</p><p>Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.</p><p></p><p>=============================</p><p></p><p>On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :</p><p>Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.</p><p>Only the Good Die Young.</p><p></p><p>=============================</p><p></p><p>In a London, England cemetery:</p><p>Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767</p><p></p><p>=============================</p><p></p><p>In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:</p><p>Anna Wallace</p><p>The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna.</p><p>Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.</p><p></p><p>===============================</p><p></p><p>In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:</p><p>Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.</p><p></p><p>================================</p><p></p><p>A lawyer's epitaph in England:</p><p>Sir John Strange.</p><p>Here lies an honest lawyer,</p><p>and that is Strange.</p><p></p><p>===============================</p><p></p><p>In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:</p><p>Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.</p><p>Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.</p><p></p><p>==============================</p><p></p><p>In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:</p><p>Here lays The Kid.</p><p>We planted him raw.</p><p>He was quick on the trigger</p><p>But slow on the draw.</p><p></p><p>=================================</p><p></p><p>John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:</p><p>Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,</p><p>dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.</p><p></p><p>=============================</p><p></p><p>In a Hartscombe, England cemetery:</p><p>On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.</p><p></p><p>==================================</p><p></p><p>Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:</p><p>Here lies the body of our Anna,</p><p>Done to death by a banana.</p><p>It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,</p><p>But the skin of the thing that made her go.</p><p></p><p>==================================</p><p></p><p>On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:</p><p>Under the sod and under the trees,</p><p>lies the body of Jonathan Pease.</p><p>He is not here, there's only the pod.</p><p>Pease shelled out and went to God.</p><p></p><p>==================================</p><p></p><p>In a cemetery in England :</p><p>Remember man, as you walk by,</p><p>as you are now, so once was I.</p><p>As I am now, so shall you be.</p><p>Remember this and follow me.</p><p></p><p>To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:</p><p>To follow you, I'll not consent</p><p>until I know which way you went.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1466736, member: 1246"] The following are humorous messages written on tombstones...enjoy! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York : Born 1903--Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ============================= In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go. ============================= On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia : Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the Good Die Young. ============================= In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 ============================= In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna. =============================== In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising. ================================ A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. =============================== In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. ============================== In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. ================================= John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. ============================= In a Hartscombe, England cemetery: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. ================================== Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. ================================== On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. ================================== In a cemetery in England : Remember man, as you walk by, as you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you, I'll not consent until I know which way you went. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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