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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 176858" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn</p><p> </p><p><strong>-</strong> You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> You should not confuse your career with your life. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> Your friends love you, anyway. </p><p></p><p><strong>-</strong> Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 176858, member: 1246"] Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn [B]-[/B] You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. [B]-[/B] You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. [B]-[/B] The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. [B]-[/B] The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. [B]-[/B] There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. [B]-[/B] There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." [B]-[/B] People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. [B]-[/B] If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." [B]-[/B] The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. [B]-[/B] If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. [B]-[/B] You should not confuse your career with your life. [B]-[/B] A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. [B]-[/B] No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. [B]-[/B] When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. [B]-[/B] Your friends love you, anyway. [B]-[/B] Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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