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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1887893" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>If men ran the world...</strong></span></p><p></p><p>- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.</p><p> </p><p>- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a 'Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time' would pretty much do it.</p><p></p><p>- Birth control would come in ale or lager.</p><p></p><p>- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.</p><p></p><p>- St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.</p><p></p><p>- Garbage would take itself out.</p><p></p><p>- The only show opposite 'Monday Night Football' would be 'Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.'</p><p></p><p>- Instead of 'beer-belly,' you'd get 'beer-biceps.'</p><p> </p><p>- Tanks would be far easier to rent.</p><p> </p><p>- Two words... 'Ally McNaked.'</p><p></p><p>- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: 'You know how fast you were going?'You: 'All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.' Cop :'Nice one, That's $10.00 off'.</p><p></p><p>- People would never talk about how fresh they felt.</p><p></p><p>- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.</p><p></p><p>- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said 'You're #1!'</p><p></p><p>- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.</p><p></p><p>- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to 'I love you.'</p><p></p><p>- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.</p><p></p><p>- 'Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.</p><p> </p><p>- At the end of the workday a whistle would blow andyou would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.</p><p></p><p>- Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1887893, member: 1246"] [SIZE=5][B]If men ran the world...[/B][/SIZE] [B][/B] - Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. - Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a 'Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time' would pretty much do it. - Birth control would come in ale or lager. - Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. - St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month. - Garbage would take itself out. - The only show opposite 'Monday Night Football' would be 'Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.' - Instead of 'beer-belly,' you'd get 'beer-biceps.' - Tanks would be far easier to rent. - Two words... 'Ally McNaked.' - When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: 'You know how fast you were going?'You: 'All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.' Cop :'Nice one, That's $10.00 off'. - People would never talk about how fresh they felt. - It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas. - Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said 'You're #1!' - When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. - Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to 'I love you.' - The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. - 'Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. - At the end of the workday a whistle would blow andyou would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone. - Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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