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Message: <blockquote data-quote="traveler" data-source="post: 227431" data-attributes="member: 1954">Jersey Driving Rules The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."  If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.  Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.  Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of New Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around regularly for your entertainment and keeping you on your toes.  MapQuest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ pass lanes are relocated each night once again to make your ride more exciting.  If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you could just get shot. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.  Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you,or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.  Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.  The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.  A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.  Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.  Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.  Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.  Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.  Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.  Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.  It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.  Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first,by whatever means necessary.  Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.  In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.  Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.  All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Newark. </blockquote>

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