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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 229415" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN:</p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income (and you think it's normal)</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice it.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">know darn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">below).</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance,</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">takes about "twenty minutes".</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You drive to your neighborhood block party.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">sunburn.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">definitely driving.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all the other states</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">because they don't have any.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Stop signs stand for, Slow To Observe Police.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You eat pineapple on pizza.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">head.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You think that Venice is a beach.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You know who the Tinsel Underwear dude at Venice Beach is.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">class. Best area code: "949/714." Nobody likes anyone from the</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"909/951" because it stinks there.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You call 911 and they put you on hold.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">The gym is packed at 3 pm...on a workday.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">are just better than them, for whatever reason.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">McDonald's, Subway or a Starbucks. (Do we have to go two miles for a</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Starbucks?)</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You know the meaning behind the numbers of the 405 freeway.... because it</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"STORM WATCH".</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">The Terminator is your Governor.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">California!</span></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 229415, member: 1246"] YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN: [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income (and you think it's normal) You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice it. You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone. You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican. You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know darn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below). Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". You drive to your neighborhood block party. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code. You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any. Stop signs stand for, Slow To Observe Police. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. You eat pineapple on pizza. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head. You think that Venice is a beach. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal. You know who the Tinsel Underwear dude at Venice Beach is. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana]You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949/714." Nobody likes anyone from the "909/951" because it stinks there. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] You call 911 and they put you on hold. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory. The gym is packed at 3 pm...on a workday. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's, Subway or a Starbucks. (Do we have to go two miles for a Starbucks?) You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean. You know the meaning behind the numbers of the 405 freeway.... because it takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH". The Terminator is your Governor. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California![/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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