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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 238107" data-attributes="member: 1246">As Seen Through the Eyes of a Redneck Threats:-- I&#039;ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.-- This&#039;ll jar your preserves.-- Don&#039;t you be makin&#039; me open a can o&#039; whoop-ass on ya!Good Things/Compliments: -- Cute as a sack full of puppies.-- If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.-- Gooder than grits. The Weather:-- It&#039;s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.-- It&#039;s been hotter&#039;n a goat&#039;s butt in a pepper patch.-- Wintry roads are said to be &quot;slicker than otter snot. Descriptions:-- A bothersome person is &quot;like a booger that you can&#039;t thump off.&quot;-- When something is bad then you say, &quot;that ain&#039;t no count.&quot;-- If something is hard to do, it&#039;s &quot;like trying to herd cats.&quot;-- He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin.-- A hectic schedule keeps you &quot;Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.&quot; Insults: -- She&#039;s uglier than homemade soap.-- Your momma&#039;s so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said &#039;To be continued.&#039;-- He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.-- Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits.-- The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead-- Any insulting statement is always followed by &quot;bless his/her heart.&quot; Example: &quot;She&#039;s dumber than a door knob, bless her heart.&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 238107, member: 1246"] [U][B]As Seen Through the Eyes of a Redneck[/B][/U] [U][B]Threats:[/B][/U] -- I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. -- This'll jar your preserves. -- Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya! [B][U]Good Things/Compliments:[/U] [/B] -- Cute as a sack full of puppies. -- If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it. -- Gooder than grits. [U][B]The Weather:[/B][/U] -- It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs. -- It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch. -- Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot. [U][B]Descriptions:[/B][/U] -- A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off." -- When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count." -- If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats." -- He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin. -- A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor." [B][U]Insults:[/U][/B] -- She's uglier than homemade soap. -- Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.' -- He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. -- Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits. -- The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead -- Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart." [/QUOTE]

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