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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 280575" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><strong>Arkansas Christmas</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The kids were in bed, we had nine at the time.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A cold wind was blowing', Up the holler it moaned.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Ten dogs on the porch all howled and groaned.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The boys were all dreamin' of weapons and guns</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">for killin' God's creatures, there's no better fun!</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">To getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I just wanted my Chevy down off of them blocks.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The out in the yard such a noise did commence.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Like something was caught in our new bob-war fence.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The man makin' the racket was good ol' St. Nick.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">You may think of Santa in your own mind's eye,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">dressed in a red and white suit, but I've got a surprise.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">That old boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He married his cousin and they live in a trailer.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">he hooks the thing up to a razorback pig!</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">he backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I must admit from the back he looked lots like Bill Clinton.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He turned toward the tree, his eyes all aglow,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">His neck was a red one, his shirt said, "Lite Beer",</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">he had no red hat on, but his cap read, "John Deere".</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He left all the presents, with an air of delight,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">then back to the chimney, and into the night.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">He ran into the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">then he yelled at the dogs, "Get the hell out th' way!"</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I ran out to ask him why he brought such good cheer;</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">but instead he just asked me, "You get you a deer?"</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Then I heard him exclaim, as those pigs took flight,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Merry Christmas to all... I need a Bud Lite!"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 280575, member: 1246"] [CENTER][B]Arkansas Christmas[/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4] 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack, Not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back. The kids were in bed, we had nine at the time. The wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine. A cold wind was blowing', Up the holler it moaned. Ten dogs on the porch all howled and groaned. The boys were all dreamin' of weapons and guns for killin' God's creatures, there's no better fun! The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned To getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume. The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks. I just wanted my Chevy down off of them blocks. The out in the yard such a noise did commence. Like something was caught in our new bob-war fence. I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick. The man makin' the racket was good ol' St. Nick. You may think of Santa in your own mind's eye, dressed in a red and white suit, but I've got a surprise. That old boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor. He married his cousin and they live in a trailer. On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig, he hooks the thing up to a razorback pig! He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies, he backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens, I must admit from the back he looked lots like Bill Clinton. He turned toward the tree, his eyes all aglow, He was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe. His neck was a red one, his shirt said, "Lite Beer", he had no red hat on, but his cap read, "John Deere". He left all the presents, with an air of delight, then back to the chimney, and into the night. He ran into the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh, then he yelled at the dogs, "Get the hell out th' way!" I ran out to ask him why he brought such good cheer; but instead he just asked me, "You get you a deer?" Then I heard him exclaim, as those pigs took flight, "Merry Christmas to all... I need a Bud Lite!" [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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