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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 286506" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><strong>Marriage Definitions</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Bachelor<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A man who never makes the same mistake once.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The only man who has never told his wife a lie.</span></span></li> </ol></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Bride<br /> A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Compromise<br /> An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Diplomat<br /> A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Gentleman<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.</span></span></li> </ol></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Housework<br /> What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Husband<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.</span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so.</span></span></li> </ol></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Joint Checking Account<br /> A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Love<br /> An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Miss<br /> A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Mistress<br /> Something between a mister and a mattress. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Mother-in-Law<br /> A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Mrs.<br /> A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Spouse<br /> Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. <br /> </span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Wife<br /> A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. </span></span></li> </ul><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"> </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 286506, member: 1246"] [CENTER][B]Marriage Definitions[/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4] [LIST] [*]Bachelor[LIST=1] [*]A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. [*]A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free. [*]A man who never makes the same mistake once. [*]A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony. [*]A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit. [*]The only man who has never told his wife a lie.[/LIST] [*]Bride A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. [*]Compromise An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. [*]Diplomat A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat. [*]Gentleman[LIST=1] [*]A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. [*]A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.[/LIST] [*]Housework What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it. [*]Husband[LIST=1] [*]A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. [*]A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so.[/LIST] [*]Joint Checking Account A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw. [*]Love An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. [*]Miss A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. [*]Mistress Something between a mister and a mattress. [*]Mother-in-Law A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. [*]Mrs. A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition. [*]Spouse Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. [*]Wife A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. [/LIST] [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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