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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 3158984" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. </p><p>Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. </p><p>Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) </p><p>Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. </p><p>Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant. </p><p>Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. </p><p>Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. </p><p>Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. </p><p>Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief." </p><p>Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. </p><p>Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. </p><p>Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. </p><p>Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 3158984, member: 1246"] Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant. Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief." Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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