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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 4035290" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>Dumb Instructions...….</strong></span></p><p></p><p>“Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.</p><p></p><p></p><p>“Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.</p><p></p><p>“Access hole only — not intended for use in lifting box.” — On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.</p><p></p><p>“Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.</p><p></p><p>“Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.</p><p></p><p>“Do not use orally after using rectally.” — In the instructions for an electric thermometer.</p><p></p><p>“Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.</p><p></p><p>“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.</p><p></p><p>“Do not put in mouth.” — On a box of bottle rockets.</p><p></p><p>“Please remove before driving.” — On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked).</p><p></p><p>“Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.</p><p></p><p>“Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.</p><p></p><p>“For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack.</p><p></p><p>“Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.</p><p></p><p>“Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.” — On the packaging for a wristwatch.</p><p></p><p>“Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 4035290, member: 1246"] [SIZE=5][B]Dumb Instructions...….[/B][/SIZE] [B][/B] “Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts. “Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. “Access hole only — not intended for use in lifting box.” — On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. “Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. “Do not use orally after using rectally.” — In the instructions for an electric thermometer. “Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. “Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame. “Do not put in mouth.” — On a box of bottle rockets. “Please remove before driving.” — On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked). “Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. “Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV. “For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack. “Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone. “Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.” — On the packaging for a wristwatch. “Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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