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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 4177660" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Doctors - What They Say / What They Mean....</p><p></p><p>"This should be taken care of right away."</p><p>Meaning: I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.</p><p></p><p>"Well, what do we have here...?"</p><p>Meaning: He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.</p><p></p><p>"Let me check your medical history."</p><p>Meaning: I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.</p><p></p><p>"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."</p><p>Meaning: I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is a waste of time.</p><p>- or -</p><p>I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.</p><p></p><p>"We have some good news and some bad news."</p><p>Meaning: The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.</p><p>"Let's see how it develops."</p><p>Meaning: Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.</p><p>"Let me schedule you for some tests."</p><p>Meaning: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.</p><p></p><p>"I'd like to have my associate look at you."</p><p>Meaning: He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.</p><p></p><p>"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."</p><p>Meaning: I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.</p><p></p><p>"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."</p><p>Meaning: I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.</p><p></p><p>"That's quite a nasty looking wound."</p><p>Meaning: I think I'm going to throw up.</p><p></p><p>"This may smart a little."</p><p>Meaning: Last week two patients bit off their tongues.</p><p></p><p>"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"</p><p>Meaning: I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?</p><p></p><p>"This should fix you up."</p><p>Meaning: The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.</p><p></p><p>"Everything seems to be normal."</p><p>Meaning: Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.</p><p></p><p>"I'd like to run some more tests."</p><p>Meaning: I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.</p><p></p><p>"There is a lot of that going around."</p><p>Meaning: That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.</p><p></p><p>"If the symptoms persist, call for an appointment."</p><p>Meaning: I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Glad I'm off next week.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 4177660, member: 1246"] Doctors - What They Say / What They Mean.... "This should be taken care of right away." Meaning: I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. "Well, what do we have here...?" Meaning: He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. "Let me check your medical history." Meaning: I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you. "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." Meaning: I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is a waste of time. - or - I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit. "We have some good news and some bad news." Meaning: The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. "Let's see how it develops." Meaning: Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured. "Let me schedule you for some tests." Meaning: I have a forty percent interest in the lab. "I'd like to have my associate look at you." Meaning: He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle. "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." Meaning: I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." Meaning: I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. "That's quite a nasty looking wound." Meaning: I think I'm going to throw up. "This may smart a little." Meaning: Last week two patients bit off their tongues. "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" Meaning: I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here? "This should fix you up." Meaning: The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. "Everything seems to be normal." Meaning: Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. "I'd like to run some more tests." Meaning: I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. "There is a lot of that going around." Meaning: That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this. "If the symptoms persist, call for an appointment." Meaning: I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Glad I'm off next week. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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