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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 520545" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">The Man Rules</span></span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">At</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> last a guy has taken the time to write this all down</span></span></strong></p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><u><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">Finally</span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">,</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> the guys' side of the story.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">(</span></span></strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">I</span></span><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> must admit, it's pretty good.) </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">We always hear</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">'</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">the rules</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">'</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">From the female side</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">Now here are the rules from the male side.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">These are our rules!</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: blue">Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: blue"><u>ON PURPOSE!</u></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">1. Men are NOT mind readers.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Learn to work the toilet seat.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">We need it up, you need it down.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">or the changing of the tides.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Let it be.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Crying is blackmail.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Ask for what you want. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Let us be clear on this one: </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Subtle hints do not work!</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Strong hints do not work!</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Obvious hints do not work!</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Just say it!</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Come to us with a problem </span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: #3366ff"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">only</span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> if you want help solving it. That's what we do.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Don't ask us.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the</span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: #003300"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">other one</span></span></u></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. You can either ask us to do something</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">or tell us how you want it done. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Not both.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Christopher Columbus did </span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">NOT</span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> n</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">eed directions and neither do we.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Peach, for example, is a fruit, not </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">A </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have </span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: #993366"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">no</span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> idea what mauve is.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. If it itches, it </span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">will </span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">be scratched...</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">We do that.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...</span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: #333399"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"> Really</span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: #333399"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">motor sports.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. You have enough clothes.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. You have too many shoes.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. I am in shape. </span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">Round </span></span></u></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">IS a shape!</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">1. Thank you for reading this.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: black">Pass this to as many women as you can -</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">to give them a bigger laugh.</span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 520545, member: 1246"] [CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]The Man Rules[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]At[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia] last a guy has taken the time to write this all down[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER] [/CENTER] [B][U][COLOR=red][FONT=Georgia]Finally[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia],[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia] the guys' side of the story.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]([/COLOR][/FONT][/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]I[/FONT][/COLOR][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia] must admit, it's pretty good.) [/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]We always hear[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]'[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=red][FONT=Georgia]the rules[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]'[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]From the female side[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]Now here are the rules from the male side.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia]These are our rules![/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=blue]Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=blue][U]ON PURPOSE![/U][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]1. Men are NOT mind readers.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Learn to work the toilet seat.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]We need it up, you need it down.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]or the changing of the tides.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Let it be.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Crying is blackmail.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Ask for what you want. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Let us be clear on this one: [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Subtle hints do not work![/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Strong hints do not work![/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Obvious hints do not work![/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Just say it![/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Come to us with a problem [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=#3366ff][FONT=Verdana]only[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia] if you want help solving it. That's what we do.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Don't ask us.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=#003300][FONT=Georgia]other one[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. You can either ask us to do something[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]or tell us how you want it done. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Not both.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Christopher Columbus did [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=teal][FONT=Georgia]NOT[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Georgia] n[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]eed directions and neither do we.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Peach, for example, is a fruit, not [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]A [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][U][COLOR=#993366][FONT=Georgia]no[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia] idea what mauve is.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. If it itches, it [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=red][FONT=Georgia]will [/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]be scratched...[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]We do that.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=#333399][FONT=Georgia] Really[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=#333399][FONT=Georgia].[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]motor sports.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. You have enough clothes.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. You have too many shoes.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. I am in shape. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia]Round [/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]IS a shape![/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]1. Thank you for reading this.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black]Pass this to as many women as you can -[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia]to give them a bigger laugh.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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