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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 558290" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">THE LAWS OF...............</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster. (Works every time)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water and covered with soap, the telephone rings.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine will not work, it will.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it is ugly.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no foot.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 558290, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]THE LAWS OF...............[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster. (Works every time)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water and covered with soap, the telephone rings.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine will not work, it will.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it is ugly.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no foot.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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