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Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="dilligaf" data-source="post: 572693" data-attributes="member: 11476"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">I Love Mustard</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">brown, Gourmet Mustard.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">I love mustard.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">I had no napkin.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">I licked it off.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">It was not mustard.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">No man ever put a baby down faster.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-size: 15px">Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon.''</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: blue"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dilligaf, post: 572693, member: 11476"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=blue][SIZE=4]I Love Mustard As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon.''[/SIZE] [/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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