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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 582188" data-attributes="member: 1246">Thoughts from Jack Handy..........&nbsp;I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one&#039;s right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.&nbsp;If you&#039;re ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don&#039;t stop and think of what other words have &quot;under&quot; in them, because that&#039;s probably the first sign of jungle madness. &nbsp;I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I&#039;d save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I&#039;d go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I&#039;d say, &quot;Looking for gold, ya durn fool.&quot; He&#039;d say, &quot;Your pick is gold,&quot; and I&#039;d say, &quot;Well, that was easy.&quot; Good joke, huh. &nbsp;If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don&#039;t think it would be a good idea to say, &quot;I swallowed it. So sue me.&quot;.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 582188, member: 1246"] Thoughts from Jack Handy.......... I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't stop and think of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness. I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh. If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me.". [/QUOTE]

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