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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Babooba" data-source="post: 583563" data-attributes="member: 5402"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Finally...overalls that fit!</span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Just ask for the " Tennessee Cut!"</span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A brand new edition of... </span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">'You know you're a redneck when......</span></span></strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree</span></span></span></strong></strong></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>5. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>6. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>7. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>10. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>11. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>12. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.</strong></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>13. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>14. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>15. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>16. You have a rag for a gas cap.</strong></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>17. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>18. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: lime"><span style="color: lime"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>19. You can spit without opening your mouth.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>20. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>21. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>22. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>23. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal Mart????</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>24. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>25. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>26. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.</strong></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>27. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>28. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong>29. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></span></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Babooba, post: 583563, member: 5402"] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Finally...overalls that fit![/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Just ask for the " Tennessee Cut!"[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A brand new edition of... [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B][B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][FONT=Comic Sans MS]'You know you're a redneck when......[/FONT][/FONT][/B][/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][FONT=Comic Sans MS]1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=teal][COLOR=teal][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]5. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]6. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]7. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]10. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]11. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]12. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]13. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]14. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]15. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]16. You have a rag for a gas cap.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]17. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]18. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=lime][COLOR=lime][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]19. You can spit without opening your mouth.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]20. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]21. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]22. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]23. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal Mart????[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]24. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]25. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]26. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=teal][COLOR=teal][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]27. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]28. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]29. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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