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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 627448" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">IMMUTABLE LAWS................</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When one wishes to unlock a door but has has only one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von Fumbles Law)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale Law of Destiny)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When one's hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Ichiban)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance So Sorry Law)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When things seem to be going well, you've probably forgotten to do something. (Cheney's Second Corollary)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem. (Law of Gravitas)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Most problems are not created or solved; they only change appearances. (Einstein's Law of Persistence)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Whenever you connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of Wasteland)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of Pi Eyed)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell Scoop)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Each and every body submerged in a bathtub will cause the phone to ring. (Law of Yes Now)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of Ding Dong)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo. (The Don King Principle)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of Fatal Irreversibility)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. Law of Delay)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway. (Theory of Absolute Certainty) </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 627448, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]IMMUTABLE LAWS................[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]When one wishes to unlock a door but has has only one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von Fumbles Law)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale Law of Destiny)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]When one's hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Ichiban)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance So Sorry Law)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]When things seem to be going well, you've probably forgotten to do something. (Cheney's Second Corollary)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem. (Law of Gravitas)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Most problems are not created or solved; they only change appearances. (Einstein's Law of Persistence)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Whenever you connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of Wasteland)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of Pi Eyed)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell Scoop)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Each and every body submerged in a bathtub will cause the phone to ring. (Law of Yes Now)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of Ding Dong)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo. (The Don King Principle)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of Fatal Irreversibility)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. Law of Delay)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway. (Theory of Absolute Certainty) [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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