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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 631889" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">THE SOUTH . . . </span></span></span></span></span></strong></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>TENNESSEE</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="color: #820040"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong> . . .</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">He called her into his office and said: "You graduated from the University of Tennessee , and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple">The secretary thought a moment, and then replied: "Everything but my earrings."</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">ALABAMA . . .</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">"Where's Henry?" the others asked. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: purple">"You left Henry laying out there, and carried the deer back?" they inquired.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: maroon"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: maroon">TEXAS . . .</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>The Sheriff asked: "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Yep", he replied; "that's why I'm dumpin it here . . . it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">LOUISIANA . . . </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">A senior at LSU was overheard saying . . . "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">MISSISSIPPI . . .</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy: "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" </span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">Bubba replied: "Did you see who it was?"</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple">The young man answered: "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">GEORGIA . . .</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked: "Got any I.D.?"</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple">The driver replied: "Bout whut?"</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">NORTH CAROLINA . . .</span></span></span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.</span></span></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">The man replied: "I have a flat tire."</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: purple">The passerby asked: "But what's with the flowers?"</span></span></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="color: #603181">The man responded: "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither."</span></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 631889, member: 1246"] [B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#820040][COLOR=#820040][FONT=Comic Sans MS]THE SOUTH . . . [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=7][COLOR=#820040][COLOR=#820040][FONT=Arial][B]TENNESSEE[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=7][COLOR=#820040][COLOR=#820040][FONT=Arial][B] . . .[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Georgia]He called her into his office and said: "You graduated from the University of Tennessee , and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple]The secretary thought a moment, and then replied: "Everything but my earrings."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][B][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]ALABAMA . . .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Georgia]"Where's Henry?" the others asked. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE] [COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=purple][SIZE=4][COLOR=purple]"You left Henry laying out there, and carried the deer back?" they inquired.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=maroon][B][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=maroon]TEXAS . . .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Georgia][B]The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Georgia][B]The Sheriff asked: "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Georgia][B]"Yep", he replied; "that's why I'm dumpin it here . . . it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]LOUISIANA . . . [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]A senior at LSU was overheard saying . . . "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Georgia]When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][B][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]MISSISSIPPI . . .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy: "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]Bubba replied: "Did you see who it was?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple]The young man answered: "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][B][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]GEORGIA . . .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked: "Got any I.D.?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple]The driver replied: "Bout whut?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][B][SIZE=7][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]NORTH CAROLINA . . .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4][COLOR=#603181][COLOR=#603181][FONT=Georgia]A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]The man replied: "I have a flat tire."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=purple]The passerby asked: "But what's with the flowers?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=#603181]The man responded: "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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