Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 645709" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Out of the mouths of Babes......... </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After awhile he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?' </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">BRITTANY (age4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?' </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">CLINTON (age5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.How will my wife fit in?' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?' </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And my favorite of them all---</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 645709, member: 1246"] Out of the mouths of Babes......... JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After awhile he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?' [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]BRITTANY (age4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?' [/SIZE][/FONT] MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?' [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]CLINTON (age5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.How will my wife fit in?' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?' [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?' [/SIZE][/FONT] And my favorite of them all--- [FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'[/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Home
Forums
Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
Top