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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 675921" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u><strong>THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH</strong></u></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">We need = I want</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Do what you want = You'll pay for this later</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">We need to talk = I need to complain</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you maroon!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Yes = No</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">No = No</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Maybe = No</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'm sorry = You'll be sorry</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....</strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The same old thing = Nothing</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Nothing = Everything</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Everything = My PMS is acting up</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u><strong>THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH</strong></u></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I'm tired" = I'm tired</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I love you" = Let's have sex now</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 675921, member: 1246"] [FONT=Georgia][FONT=Arial][U][B]THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH[/B][/U][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]We need = I want[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Do what you want = You'll pay for this later[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]We need to talk = I need to complain[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you maroon![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Yes = No[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]No = No[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Maybe = No[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I'm sorry = You'll be sorry[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][B]THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....[/B][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]The same old thing = Nothing[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Nothing = Everything[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Everything = My PMS is acting up[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam[/FONT] [FONT=Arial][U][B]THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH[/B][/U][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I'm tired" = I'm tired[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I love you" = Let's have sex now[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!![/FONT] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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