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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 716562" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u>What I Want In a Man, Original List</u></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Handsome</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2. Charming</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Financially successful</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. A caring listener</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Witty</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. In good shape</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Dresses with style</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Appreciates finer things</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. Full of thoughtful surprises</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)</u></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Nice looking</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2. Opens car doors, holds chairs</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Has enough money for a nice dinner</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. Listens more than talks</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Laughs at my jokes</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. Carries bags of groceries with ease</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Owns at least one tie</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)</u></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Not too ugly</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. Nods head when I'm talking</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">10. Shaves most weekends</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)</u></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Doesn't borrow money too often</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Appreciates a good TV dinner</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. Remembers your name on occasion</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">10. Shaves some weekends</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><u>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)</u></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">1. Doesn't scare small children</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">2. Remembers where bathroom is</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">4. Only snores lightly when asleep</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">5. Remembers why he's laughing</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">7. Usually wears some clothes</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">8. Likes soft foods</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">9. Remembers where he left his teeth</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">10. Remembers that it's the weekend</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><u>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)</u></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">1. Breathing.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">2. Doesn't miss the toilet.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!</span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "DARLING, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 716562, member: 1246"] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial][U]What I Want In a Man, Original List[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]1. Handsome[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]2. Charming[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]3. Financially successful[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]4. A caring listener[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]5. Witty[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]6. In good shape[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]7. Dresses with style[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]8. Appreciates finer things[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]9. Full of thoughtful surprises[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][U]What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]1. Nice looking[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]2. Opens car doors, holds chairs[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]3. Has enough money for a nice dinner[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]4. Listens more than talks[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]5. Laughs at my jokes[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]6. Carries bags of groceries with ease[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]7. Owns at least one tie[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][U]What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]1. Not too ugly[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]4. Nods head when I'm talking[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]10. Shaves most weekends[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][U]What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]3. Doesn't borrow money too often[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]8. Appreciates a good TV dinner[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]9. Remembers your name on occasion[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]10. Shaves some weekends[/FONT][/SIZE] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][U]What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]1. Doesn't scare small children[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]2. Remembers where bathroom is[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]4. Only snores lightly when asleep[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]5. Remembers why he's laughing[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]7. Usually wears some clothes[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]8. Likes soft foods[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]9. Remembers where he left his teeth[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]10. Remembers that it's the weekend[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][U]What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)[/U][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1. Breathing.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2. Doesn't miss the toilet.[/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it![/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "DARLING, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial]AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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