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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 745826" data-attributes="member: 1246">Thoughts from a Brit.....&nbsp;took my car for a service yesterday.Or as the police insist on putting it, I ram raided a mosque.&nbsp;France is now fighting for survival and hoping another country helps them out.Now, where have I heard this story before...&nbsp;how many French would it take to defend Paris?we will never know&nbsp;We&#039;re both sat here in silence after a massive argument and I&#039;m beginning to bitterly regret something I said to the wife.,,,,,,,,,,,,&quot;I do.&quot;&nbsp;A jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he&#039;s been given a part in a school play. &quot; Great, what part is it?&quot;, the boys says &quot;I play the part of a Jewish husband&quot;. The mother scowls and says &quot;Go back and tell them you want a speaking part&quot;&nbsp;For sale: Genuine French WWII rifle. Never fired, dropped only once.&nbsp;Ever heard the phrase; &quot;A little of what you fancy does you good&quot;?Actually, it gets you divorced.&nbsp;You know that sticker on the top step of a ladder that says &quot;This isn’t a step&quot;? It turns out that there’s a reason why they put it on there.&nbsp;I&#039;m not homophobic...... I love lesbians!!!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;think im in trouble when i get home. the missis just phoned me and asked &quot;where would you like to be buried?&quot;,,,,,,,,,,, apparently &quot; bollock deep inside your sister&quot; was the wrong answer!&nbsp;My missus asked me &quot; when you&#039;re away on a lads trip do you think about me?&quot; Apparently &quot;only to stop myself coming too quickly&quot; wasnt a good answer&nbsp;&nbsp;Because of the heat this summer, I&#039;ve got a lot of bites on my legs...Maybe I should stop pushing the kids out of the line for the ice cream van.Remember, back in school, when the math teacher told us, at the end of the lesson;&quot;Alright class, put your pen down, look at the board, and watch me go through it.&quot;I thought &quot;This&#039;ll be ******ing good!&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 745826, member: 1246"] Thoughts from a Brit..... [B][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2]took my car for a service yesterday.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Tahoma][B]Or as the police insist on putting it, I ram raided a mosque.[/B][/FONT] [B][FONT=Tahoma]France is now fighting for survival and hoping another country helps them out.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Now, where have I heard this story before...[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]how many French would it take to defend Paris?[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]we will never know[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]We're both sat here in silence after a massive argument and I'm beginning to bitterly regret something I said to the wife.,,,,,,,,,,,,[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]"I do."[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]A jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in a school play. " Great, what part is it?", the boys says "I play the part of a Jewish husband". The mother scowls and says "Go back and tell them you want a speaking part"[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]For sale: Genuine French WWII rifle. Never fired, dropped only once[/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma].[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Ever heard the phrase; "A little of what you fancy does you good"?[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Actually, it gets you divorced.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]You know that sticker on the top step of a ladder that says "This isn’t a step"? It turns out that there’s a reason why they put it on there[/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Tahoma].[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]I'm not homophobic...[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]... I love lesbians!!![/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]think im in trouble when i get home. the missis just phoned me and asked "where would you like to be buried?",,,,,,,,,,, apparently " bollock deep inside your sister" was the wrong answer![/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]My missus asked me " when you're away on a lads trip do you think about me?" [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Apparently "only to stop myself coming too quickly" wasnt a good answer[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Because of the heat this summer, I've got a lot of bites on my legs...[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Maybe I should stop pushing the kids out of the line for the ice cream van.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]Remember, back in school, when the math teacher told us, at the end of the lesson;[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]"Alright class, put your pen down, look at the board, and watch me go through it."[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Tahoma]I thought "This'll be ******ing good!"[/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]

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